Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree? Provide relevant examples if necessary.

It is often argued that it is more advantageous to choose a
job
with
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
wage, even if it doesn't appeal to you at all. I completely disagree with
this
opinion and think that
job
satisfaction
is much more important than
salary
. First of all, I believe that
job
satisfaction
gives people a sense of
fulfillment
Change the spelling
fulfilment
show examples
that no money can guarantee. Even if someone is earning a high
salary
, but feels tensed and compromises with his conscience,
this
person won’t enjoy his life.
While
pursuing one’s interests will always bring pleasure and
feeling
Correct article usage
a feeling
show examples
of
satisfaction
.
For example
, a lot of famous researchers made their career choices not because of appealing wages, but because they were passionate about science. That’s why it’s more important to choose the kind of work that makes you happy than to look only at a high
salary
.
Secondly
, doing what you like keeps you motivated and
therefore
leads to
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
career growth.
In other words
, there is a strong
relation
Replace the word
relationship
show examples
between
job
satisfaction
and productivity. People who love their jobs can easily excel in their fields of work and achieve better results than those, who put
salary
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the first place.
For instance
, Henry Miller decided to leave his everyday
job
despite a good wage and ventured to become a writer.
And after
Correct word choice
After
show examples
enduring years of ups and downs he became one of the most famous and well-paid authors of the twentieth century.
Thus
,
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
of jobs that keep you satisfied outweigh the
drawback
Fix the agreement mistake
drawbacks
show examples
of a low
salary
in a long-term perspective.
To conclude
, I strongly believe that
job
satisfaction
is more beneficial than
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
salary
because it makes people happy and motivated.
Submitted by rsriat88 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
You've done an excellent job at structuring your essay logically. Your introduction clearly states your position on the issue, and your conclusion succinctly reiterates your main points.
Task Response
Your response to the task is almost complete, but there could be more exploration of why some people might prioritize high salary over job satisfaction. Exploring the other side of the argument could boost your score in this criterion.
Task Completion
Your essay highlights relevant, specific examples that support your points effectively. Your use of examples like famous researchers and Henry Miller effectively illustrate your points.
Lexical Resource
Your lexical resource is excellent. You've used a wide range of vocabulary to express your ideas and you have also avoided repetition effectively.
Grammatical Range
Your grammatical range is extensive and you've used it effectively to enhance your arguments. There's a good mix of simple and complex sentences, and you've used punctuation correctly.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • remuneration
  • financial security
  • motivation
  • luxuries
  • material possessions
  • fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • stress levels
  • mental well-being
  • job security
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