IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

The chart and table below give information about population figures in Japan. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart and table below give information about population figures in Japan. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #population #figures #japan #summarise #features #comparisons
The given chart
graph
 illustrates
growth
Correct article usage
the growth
show examples
 number of
japon
Change the capitalization
Japon
show examples
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
 every five years until 2055
while
, the table compares
over
Correct article usage
the over
show examples
 65 years old
population
 and
percentage
Correct article usage
the percentage
show examples
 of
total
Add an article
the total
show examples
population
 between 1950 and 2055. A glance at the graphs reveals that
japon
Change the capitalization
Japon
show examples
population
 growth increased
2005
Change preposition
in 2005
show examples
.
According to
first
Change the article
the first
show examples
graph
, the
population
 is falling in 2055. The
japon
Change the capitalization
Japon
show examples
population
steadly
Correct your spelling
steadily
 soared from 84.1
millon
Correct your spelling
million
 to 127 billion which the
population
recieved
Correct your spelling
received
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 highest point of capacity. After following one decade, the citizen number decreased
gradual
Change the word
gradually
show examples
 decrease to
reached
Wrong verb form
reach
show examples
 125.4
millon
Correct your spelling
million
.
According to
graph
Correct article usage
the graph
show examples
 prediction that the
population
 will lose
huge
Change the article
a huge
the huge
show examples
 number of
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
 until 2055 which is 89.9 million
people
.
Moreover
, the
graph
 table
unearth
Change the verb form
unearths
show examples
Correct article usage
a comparision
show examples
comparision
Correct your spelling
comparison
Comparision
 of
older
Add an article
the older
show examples
population
between
Correct word choice
and between
show examples
 total
population
. between 1950 and 2035 , the elder
population
 rise sharply,
then
 there will be reached highest
geriatric
Correct quantifier usage
number of geriatric
show examples
people
 in 2055
while
, the
population
 will reduce significantly in
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 years. in short,
japonies
Correct your spelling
Japanese
 elder
people
 will cover the majority of
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 in the future. The elder
people
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
effect
Add an article
an effect
show examples
 on
unfavourable
Correct article usage
the unfavourable
show examples
 growth of
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
.
Submitted by jgjgjgjgjdsasx on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "according to, while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words graph, population, people with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: