IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

There have been a major advances in technology over recent decades and this has led to significant improvements in people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#advances #technology #decades #improvements #people #lives
Owing to the
advancement
Suggestion
advanced
 in technical knowledge over the period of years, man has been a major beneficiary of
this
 new innovation.
This
 essay will agree that new inventions has brought more help to human in communication and
health
.
Firstly
, technology has enhanced the way at which people communicate with each other. Prior to new inventions, means of which people sent messages to their families and friends were quite challenging. Individuals had to use the post office or travel over a long distance which could take days and was time consuming to deliver their messages. Whereas, with the advent of advanced softwares and technology
such
 as what's app message, Yahoo mail and telegram.
Hence
 people can now effortlessly and easily send thousand of messages that will be delivered in nanoseconds. It is
therefore
 safe to say that technology has improved the lives of man.
Moreso
Suggestion
More so
, in the
health
 sector, the use automated machines has tremendously helped
health
practictioners
someone who practices a learned profession
practitioners
practitioner
 for timely
diagonsing
identifying the nature or cause of some phenomenon
diagnosing
 of diseases and exploring more complicated surgeries.
This
 was not possible in the past when many illnesses
where
have the quality of being; (copula, used with an adjective or a predicate noun)
were
 difficult to identify due to insufficient
information
Accept comma addition
information, thus
thus
, leading to an overwhelming number of deaths.
However
, with
use
Suggestion
the use
 of sophisticated machines there have been and enormous improvement of
health
. A good example is a report from the National medical Association Kenya (NMA) 2016, showing that there was
90% reduction
Suggestion
a 90 % reduction
 in mortality and morbidity rate
accross
to the opposite side
across
 the country when the government employed new machines
such
 as the Magnetic resonance imaging and X-ray equipments in all hospitals.
This
outcomes
Suggestion
outcome
, undoubtedly shows the benefits of Hi tech to humans In conclusion, it is evident that increased technical knowledge has assisted mankind in sharing of information and adjusting the quality of life.
Submitted by H on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: