The bar chart given shows the Percentage of Australian man and woman in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart given shows the Percentage of Australian man and woman in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar chart demonstrates
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the
percentage
of Australian
mens
Correct your spelling
men
men's
and women who did
regular
Add an article
the regular
a regular
show examples
physical activity of different
age
groups in 2010. It’s interesting to the bar chart.
Overall
,
Males
experienced a downward trend,
while
females showed an upward trend throughout the period. Both
males
Change noun form
male's
males'
show examples
and
females
Change noun form
females'
female's
show examples
percentage
rates had some fluctuations.
Although
males
initially
had a lower rate,it outraced
males
of
Change preposition
at
show examples
the end of
Add an article
the
show examples
period.
Percentage
Correct article usage
The percentage
show examples
of
males
was about 52.8% in the
age
group
ofr
Correct your spelling
of
for
15to24,
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
higher than
Correct article usage
the female’s
show examples
female’s
Change noun form
female
show examples
rate
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
. Approximately 5.1%.
Then
it
decrease
Change the verb form
decreases
show examples
to almost 42.2% in the
age
group of 25to34.
However
, the figure showed a gradual decrease to about 39.5% at the
age
of 35to44 but in
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
level
it roses
upto
Correct your spelling
up to
show examples
43.1% in
45
Correct article usage
the 45
show examples
-54
age
group and continued to incline steadily to the end of
period
Add an article
the period
show examples
,reaching around 45.1% at the
age
of 55to64 and hitting the high point of about 46.7% in the
age
of 65 and over.
Percentage
Correct article usage
The percentage
show examples
of
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
was less than 50% at the
age
of 15to24. In
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
level
,it roses
upto
Correct your spelling
up to
48.9%
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
the
age
of 25to34.During
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
three
age
of
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
,it
reahes
Correct your spelling
reaches
hitting the high point of about 52.5,53.3 and 53% at the
age
of 35to44, 45to54 and 55to64 respectively but for the
next
level
,it
outracing
Wrong verb form
outraces
show examples
the rate of
males
whose doing regular physical activity.
Submitted by Dikshita on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "next".
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Contractions: Don't use contractions.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 73%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, age, males, level with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
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