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Band 6

The bar charts show the various activities in the evening and how they often do between 1980 and 2010

The bar charts show the various activities in the evening and how they often do between 1980 and 2010
#bar #show #activities
The bar charts give
the
Correct article usage
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information on the different activities of people in the evening and the frequency of the activities per month. Generally, the
over 50
Add a hyphen
over-50
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aged
Replace the word
age
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group
Change to a plural noun
groups
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 spent
their
Change the word
the
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 most time
for
Change preposition
apply
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visiting their family and friends
while
the
Correct article usage
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online at home
covered
Add a missing verb
was covered
show examples
as
Change preposition
apply
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the least activity that people enjoyed. Taking a closer look
on
Change preposition
at
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 the bar chart 1980, the over 50 years
group
 set aside their time for family and friends
was
Unnecessary verb
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about 10 times a month more than other groups and eating out
were
Unnecessary verb
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occupied
at
Change preposition
apply
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second
 place. The
group
 of age from 15-25 years and 25-40 aged
group
 showed
the
Correct article usage
apply
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similar patterns that they both loved going to the cinema and
go
Wrong verb form
going
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 shopping and they went there for about more than 2 times and 3 times respectively. Turning to 2010, it showed
the
Correct article usage
a
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 different trend.
The online
Correct article usage
Online
show examples
 at home became the most attractive activity and they did not often go for a visit .
Submitted by thao58947 on

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words group with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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