Air travel can only benefit the richest people in the world. Ordinary people can get no advantage with the development of air travel. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The
last
few decades have seen an enormous growth in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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air
travel
. Some
people
claim that only the privileged
people
can make use of
air
travel
whereas
those with a limited budget take no advantage of
this
trend. Personally, I believe that both groups of
people
can reap the benefit of the rising
air
travel
. On the one hand,
air
travel
enables
the
Correct article usage
apply
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affluent
people
to have access to faraway destinations for relaxation. Particularly, the well-off
holiday makers
Correct your spelling
holidaymakers
show examples
stand a high chance of travelling to exotic and luxurious places to kick back and chill out.
For example
, my neighbour, who is a successful businessman, flew all the way from Hanoi to Abu Dhabi to spend his holiday in the most expensive hotel, called Emirates Palace.
Furthermore
, the expansion of
air
travel
allows wealthy entrepreneurs to expand their business opportunities overseas. In fact, no matter how far a destination is, travelling by plane only takes up a day maximum.
Thus
, many businesses are able to access many markets in various parts of the world, even in rural areas.
On the other hand
, the less well-off
people
can still gain
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
from
air
travel
. Specifically,
air
travel
promotes
influx
Correct article usage
an influx
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of goods and services between nations, so that ordinary
people
can afford
high quality
Add a hyphen
high-quality
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goods at a reasonable price.
For instance
, tropical fruits
such
as guava, passion fruit and pineapple were very rare and sold at an inflated price in temperate regions.
However
, thanks to the extension of
air
travel
, those fruits are now more affordable for the locals. In conclusion,
this
essay has highlighted the
upside
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upsides
show examples
and
downside
Fix the agreement mistake
downsides
show examples
of
the
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apply
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booming
air
travel
.
However
, governments should take measures to reduce the
air
pollution that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
air
travel
caused
Wrong verb form
causes
show examples
.
Submitted by mailinh.vutran on

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task response
Ensure that your essay fully addresses the prompt and presents a balanced argument for both sides of the issue. You should also include a clear opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a good logical structure, but there is room for improvement in linking ideas more effectively within and between paragraphs.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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