IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the number of trips made by children in one country in 1990 and 2010 to travel to and from school using different modes of transport.

The chart below shows the number of trips made by children in one country in 1990 and 2010 to travel to and from school using different modes of transport.
#trips #children #country #travel #school #modes #transport
the chart
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information about how different modes of
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
used
Add a missing verb
are used
show examples
 for travel by
childern
Correct your spelling
children
 in
on
Correct your spelling
one
show examples
conuntry
Correct your spelling
country
 in the
year
 1990 and 2010.
overall
,at
Correct article usage
the begining
show examples
begining
Correct your spelling
beginning
 of the period travelling
on
Change preposition
by
show examples
 the
car
 was least in
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
 1990 and in the same
year
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
walking
trips
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 more,
While
 in
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
 2010
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
car
 passenger
trips
 per
year
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased but in the same
year
 cycling transport was used less. looking more closely to
chart
Correct article usage
the chart
show examples
 we can say that
car
 passenger transport used was
rised
Correct your spelling
raised
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
comapred
Correct your spelling
compared
 to 1990,
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 the
Correct quantifier usage
number of childern
show examples
childern
Correct your spelling
children
 going to
school
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
 walking
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
decreased
Change preposition
by upto
show examples
upto
Correct your spelling
up to
 50
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
.
By
Change preposition
From
show examples
this
 chart
it is clear that
 walking
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
steadly
Correct your spelling
steadily
steady
 came down and using of
Add an article
the car
a car
show examples
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
 has
rised
Correct your spelling
raised
risen
about
Change preposition
by about
show examples
 60
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
.
additonally
Correct your spelling
additionally
,
childern
Correct your spelling
children
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
decreades
Correct your spelling
decreases
 to use
cycle
Add an article
a cycle
show examples
 for travelling to
school
,where
ther
Correct your spelling
there
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 six
trips
 per
year
 in 1990
while
 in
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
2010
Add a comma
,2010
show examples
 it turned down to two
trips
for
Change preposition
per
show examples
year
Add an article
the year
a year
show examples
.
rremaining
Correct your spelling
remaining
 transport used was not much decreased
comapred
Correct your spelling
compared
 to
car
Add an article
the car
a car
show examples
 ,walking ,
cycling
Correct word choice
and cycling
show examples
 sector.
to sum up
,
Correct your spelling
children
childern
Correct your spelling
children
 are
Correct your spelling
interested
insterested
Correct your spelling
interested
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 used
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
 for
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 to
school
 ,but in
1990
Change the article
the 1990
show examples
year
Correct your spelling
children
childern
Correct your spelling
children
was go
Change the verb form
was gone
was going
show examples
 to
school
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
 walking which was
Correct your spelling
highest
Correct article usage
the hightest
show examples
hightest
Correct your spelling
highest
trips
Fix the agreement mistake
trip
show examples
 per
year
 .fallen facilities

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words childern, year, car, trips, school with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "rised" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the sixth paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: