Some people think that men are naturally more competitive than women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

At the present time, both
men
and
women
are working side by side in order to develop the world. If we look around us carefully, we can see that
women
are contributing
in
Change preposition
to
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every aspect of life. Despite that, a group of people think that
women
are naturally less competitive than
men
. I strongly disagree with
the
Correct determiner usage
this
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view and
this
essay will discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
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the topic in great detail. Nowadays,
women
are not only confined to their homes
,
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apply
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but
also
actively participating in all the worldly activities equally as
men
.
For example
,
women
are becoming pilots, professors, doctors, politicians and even the prime minister in some countries.
Although
, there are some underdeveloped countries where
women
have a
much limited
Add a hyphen
much-limited
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scope of work, even
women
in that region work as a worker or other kinds of
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
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. In spite of these
achievements
Add a comma
achievements,
show examples
some people believe that
men
are naturally more competitive than
women
, which really has no basis.
In addition
,
women
also
take care of their children, which
itself
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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is a gigantic task. Sometimes, it has been seen that a single mother is taking care of her child and doing
job
Correct pronoun usage
her job
show examples
in parallel. A recent study has shown, that
a
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apply
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single
mother
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mothers
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with children
are
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is
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doing a far better job
to raise
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of raising
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their children than
a
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apply
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single
father
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fathers
show examples
. To summarize, we can say that both
men
and
women
are playing an equally important part
to improve
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in improving
show examples
our world and
women
are certainly not less competitive than
men
. In fact, if we see the reports we can say that
women
can be more competitive if not equal.
Submitted by ei13unmzql on

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task response
Ensure that each point is supported with specific examples and evidence to further strengthen your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion. Make sure the ideas flow smoothly within each paragraph and use appropriate linking words to improve coherence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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