Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

While
it is thought by some that it is better
accepting
Change the verb form
to accept
show examples
an uncomfortable situation like an unsatisfactory job or shortage of
money
, others believe that it is beneficial to
work
hard to make these
situations
better. In
this
essay, I will discuss both sides and show why I agree with the latter view. There are several reasons why some
people
think that accepting a bad situation is always better.
Firstly
, there are many who are not satisfied with their job, but they have no option left.
In other words
,
people
have to make a living,
feed
Correct word choice
and feed
show examples
a family. So, if they
chose
Wrong verb form
choose
show examples
to leave their jobs, they will become unemployed and
hence
will not be able to meet
daily
Correct pronoun usage
their daily
show examples
needs.
For instance
, I am a manager in a production company. Even though I do not like my
work
, I have to do it for the sake of earning
money
for a living.
Also
, many
people
face problems related to
money
. If they do not accept
this
, they might get into debt. To illustrate
this
, if individuals who face
money
-storage, are not able to send their children to private schools, they might have to take a loan from somewhere. They could
instead
accept their fate and send their children to public schools.
However
, in my opinion, it is always beneficial to
work
hard and improve
such
situations
. Even if someone is earning a high salary, but feels tensed and stressed, which will dangerously affect his personal life. So,
people
in these
situations
should try to get a job which they are interested in.
Secondly
, those with a shortage of
money
could put more hours into
work
,
such
as taking up
part-times
Correct your spelling
part-time
show examples
jobs, which will raise their income and solve their
money
problems.
Thus
, improving difficult
situations
is always better. In conclusion,
although
some
people
think that
people
should accept a situation, no matter how bad it is, I think that
people
should make an effort and come up with a solution to their problems.

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Language usage
Try to avoid repetitive sentences or phrases. Variety in language usage can increase coherence and cohesion.
Argument
Your main points could be strengthened with more valid and impactful reasoning.
Grammar
Be sure to check for sentence fragments. Every sentence should be a complete thought with a subject and a verb.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • adversity
  • resilience
  • stoicism
  • contentment
  • cope
  • adapt
  • endure
  • persevere
  • settle
  • ambition
  • tenacious
  • determined
  • resourceful
  • optimistic
  • self-improvement
  • proactive
  • initiative
  • transform
  • overcome
  • confront
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