IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people believe the aim of university education is to help graduates get better jobs. Others believe there are much wider benefits of university education for both individuals and society. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #aim #university #education #graduates #jobs #individuals #society
According to a section of society, the primary goal of tertiary
education
 is to enable individuals secure coveted jobs.
However others
Accept comma addition
However, others
 strongly believe that goal of higher
education
 is to achieve greater good; both for individuals and society. I strongly believe that purpose of
university
education
 is far beyond job prospects and in the course of the essay I will discuss both the viewpoints. There are specific reasons why people believe that tertiary
education
 is the gateway to a lucrative job.
Firstly market
Accept comma addition
Firstly, market
 researches in the United States and other developed countries have shown that post graduates are able to command a
considerable
Suggestion
considerably
 higher salary at
workplace
Suggestion
the workplace
a workplace
 when compared to graduates or simple high school diploma holders.
Moreover
, the professional world of certain white collared, highly respected
professions
a person engaged in one of the learned professions
professionals
, like those of physicians, engineers, scientists can only be pursued, after graduating from the respective
university
 courses.
Furthermore
, in certain fields like management, the credibility of various universities are judged by their ability to generate glittering well-paid employment offers for their fresh graduates, during their campus placements.
Hence
university
education
 is definitely perceived as a means of better employability. In
this
context it
Accept comma addition
context, it
 is worth mentioning that, apart from generating lucrative jobs for students, universities
also
 benefit the nation by creating educated societies, containing an immense pool of forward thinking individuals, who can contribute towards social development by their respective expertise. Individuals graduating from universities
also
additionally
 benefit from the multicultural environments that promote intercultural tolerance and brotherhood. The process of tertiary
education
also
 promotes teamwork and collective development amongst individuals. Over and above, numerous long lasting friendships, business partnerships and courtships
also
 bloom from the
university
 campus life.
Finally
, to sum up, it can be confidently stated that apart from generating respectable employment, there are numerous associated positive aspects of
university
education
, which are of great social and individual significance.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: