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Band 4.5

In countries where there is high unemployment, most pupils should be offered only primary education. There is no point in offering secondary education to those who will have no hope of finding a job. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #unemployment #pupils #education #point #hope #job
It is true that in countries which are suffering from high rates of unemployment, it seems hardly worthwhile to offer
education
 beyond
primary
Add an article
the primary
show examples
level
 to most pupils.
While
 I accept that
this
 appears logical, I believe that
this
 is a very narrow perspective, and I completely disagree with the statement.
Firstly
, the prediction of upturns and downturns in the job market is extremely difficult. At one period there may be a demand for workers in many sectors of a country’s economy. Wages are high, and the
education
 system needs to prepare large numbers of students up to and beyond
Correct article usage
the
show examples
secondary school
level
, with the skills to meet the needs of employers.
For example
,
while
 technology is replacing many traditional jobs in
such
 areas as agriculture, transport and heavy industry, it is
also
 creating new jobs in other sectors.
Thus
, in economic terms, it is almost impossible to say how many
highly-educated
Correct your spelling
highly educated
show examples
 young
people
 will be required for a nation’s workforce.
Secondly
, I contend that the purpose of
education
 is much more fundamental than simply to prepare young
people
 for the world of work.
Education
 is nothing less than the acquisition of lifelong skills in thinking critically about all aspects of life. At its best, secondary
education
 plays an essential part
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 helping young
people
 to develop these critical skills. If the citizens of a country are informed and enlightened, problems
such
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 a welfare system or the distribution of wealth can be intelligently debated. Without mass
education
 to
this
level
, a country can have no responsible citizens. In conclusion,
although
 in today’s volatile global economy, any country’s employment situation is subject to rapid changes, the intangible but real objectives of
education
 dictate that young
people
 should be educated to at least
secondary
Correct article usage
a secondary
show examples
level
.
Submitted by mitchel6018atlas on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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