Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #health #sports #facilities #effect #measures

It is considered many believe that to enhance public

health increasing

Accept comma addition

health, increasing

the amount of sport facilities can be helped. Whereas, other people are inclined that different measures can be helped to overcome unhealthy situation. In my opinion, not only sport activities can help but

also

another prevention can needed. On the one hand, there is no doubt,

health

is the most important item in human’s life.

In other words

, people have to do some things to

keeping

Suggestion

keep

fit,

such

Suggestion

being

careful with what they eat

Accept space

for example

, eating sweet things too or eating

grease meal

Suggestion

a greasy meal

greasy meal

too, which are both bringing about

healthy

Suggestion

health

problems.

For instance

, These types of meal are triggering obesity

Accept space

which is

modern sickness

Suggestion

a modern sickness

of the World

Accept space

especially in the US. Another thing people have to considering is mealtime, What

refers to the speaker or writer

mean is eating midnight is unhealthy.Many people are unconscious about

Accept space

what hours they eat. To illustrate, someones make dinner too late.

As a result

, stemming from these carelessnesses affect their

health

and getting them unhealthy.

On the other hand

, it is clearly seen that responsibilities of these problems do not their duty sufficiently and effectively. To accomplish

this

trouble mostly people have to

teaching

Suggestion

teach

by government or

health

institutions. May be as the many believe that the number of sport facilities should be going up.Having a filter should be compulsory by industries and government make sense of

this

rule. Meanwhile, lectures are given by the

health

establishments.

As a result

, people will keep healthy. To sum up,

Although

some people believe that going up exercise centres can be helped,

however

, in my perspective view

Accept space

people have

to teaching

Suggestion

to teach

about and governments have to do more for their people’s life.

Submitted by ercanteker15 on Mon Dec 30 2019

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Fully explain your ideas

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

279 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

public health
sports facilities
physical activity
exercise
chronic diseases
heart disease
obesity
inclusivity
participation
safe environment
social interaction
community engagement
comprehensive approach
health education programs
environmental factors
healthcare infrastructure
quality healthcare services
public health initiatives

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Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

The rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a hole. Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages?

It is becoming increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and going to university. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

Several languages are in danger of extinction because they are spoken by very small numbers of people. Some people say that governments should spend public money on saving these languages, while others believe that would be a waste of money. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.