Many people buy products that they do not really need and replace old products with new ones unnecessarily. Why do people buy things they do not really need? Do you think this is a good thing?

#people #products #ones

In today's modern era, new

products

are launched

with

Change preposition

show examples

Correct article usage

the

show examples

blink

Change preposition

of the

show examples

the

Correct article usage

show examples

eyes

Fix the agreement mistake

eye

show examples

either

Correct word choice

whether

show examples

these are gadgets, clothes or kitchen items.

However

, many people buy these

products

unnecessarily even, if, they already have

that

Change the determiner

that product

those products

show examples

products

in old form. In my opinion, buying new things, which are not in need

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

just

scrap

Change the article

a scrap

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of cash.

This

essay will

further

elaborate

the

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on the

show examples

reasons and negative effects of

this

trend and

thus

will form a logical conclusion. Analysing the statement the first and foremost reason behind

this

trend is

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

the pressure from

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

peer

Fix the agreement mistake

peers

show examples

and society.

This

trend occurs differently in each category,

such

as youngsters

buy

Wrong verb form

buying

show examples

new gadgets to show their friends and make a good impression in front of them.

Moreover

, women buy new

products

such

as clothes, accessories and kitchen equipment to show off their status in front of other women.

In addition

, men buy new

products

such

as expensive clothes and automobiles to show off their reputation to their friends and colleagues.

Nevertheless

, buying new things which are not needed is just a waste of money, which

also

allure

Verb problem

entices

show examples

others to do the same.

Furthermore

, buying new gadgets

also

Add a missing verb

is also

show examples

a waste of money, but throwing

the

Rephrase

away the

show examples

old ones not only wither wealth

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

harm

Correct subject-verb agreement

harms

show examples

the environment, because the batteries of these appliances produce harmful chemicals which cause pollution in the environment and that

further

cause disease and harm animals when they swallow it.

To conclude

, buying new substances which are not used

harm

Correct subject-verb agreement

harms

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

nature and

Add a missing verb

is a

show examples

waste of money.

A authorities

Correct the article-noun agreement

Authorities

show examples

if take huge steps

than

Correct your spelling

then

show examples

this

swing can be reduced.

Submitted by kallyk90 on Wed Jan 08 2020

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Coherence and Cohesion

The essay lacks a clear structure and fails to present a well-organized argument. There is a lack of coherence and cohesion, leading to a disjointed and unclear presentation of ideas.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

265 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Nowadays, not enough students choose science subjects at university in many countries. Why is this? What effects does this have on society?

Some people think that government funding should not be used for supporting art and culture, while others think that supporting cultural activities may be beneficial for the population and the culture. Discuss both views and give your opinion.