IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

As well as making money, business also have social responsibilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

#money #business #responsibilities
Apart from focusing on revenue and profit, a business has responsibilities towards the community. I believe
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 each company or business has to play their part in improving the lives of people and
Correct article usage
the
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environment. They should strongly follow the best practices which will benefit the world around us and its living beings. Businesses
has
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have
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 to ensure that their products are not affecting
consumers
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consumers'
consumer's
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 health or causing negative side effects in
long
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the long
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 or short term.
For example
, if a company is selling sugary drinks,
then
 the ingredients and the amount of the sugar should be clearly mentioned on the
packing
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packaging
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. It's their responsibility that the end user is aware of the negative side
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
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 it can cause to the health. Companies can
also
 run awareness ad campaigns on television or radio to teach people about the positive
of
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apply
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health benefits due to less sugar consumption though it can decline their profit. Another example of "
social
Change the adjective
socially
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 responsible" practice can be towards
environment
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the environment
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. Using
re-cyclable
Correct your spelling
recyclable
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materials to build or pack an item can be expensive for a company.
However
, if they are not using
environment
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environmentally
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 friendly manufacturing material, it can be harmful
for
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to
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 the climate or even
endangered
Wrong verb form
endanger
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 life of animals. We have seen
such
 incidents multiple times and there was even a massive awareness campaign by
World
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the World
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 Wildlife Federation (WWF). In conclusion, a business
owe
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owes
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 to
the
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apply
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society just like another person who is concerned about his or her
well being
Add a hyphen
well-being
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 and neighborhood. The reach of an organization's product is far more than an individual person
hence
 they should lead and contribute
for
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to
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 the betterment of everyone and
planet
Correct article usage
the planet
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.

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • social responsibilities
  • contribute
  • well-being
  • community
  • philanthropy
  • sustainability
  • ethical
  • trust
  • reputation
  • accountable
  • profit-making
  • balance
What to do next:
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