IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

You are not happy about a service you received a couple of days ago from a company and you have decided to complain about it. • why you went to the shop/office • how the employees behaved to offend you • what you expect the company to do

#service #couple #company #shop #office #employees
Dear Sir, I am writing
this
 to express my sheer annoyance with your poor service and the bad attitude of your
shop
 workers that I experienced
last
 Monday when I visited your
shop
.
Last
 Monday, I went to your
shop
 to buy a new mobile phone which I want to gift my dad on his 54th birthday. I was super excited as
this
 was the
first
 gift that I am going to gift my dad with my own earn money. But when I went to your Apple store, no employee came to me for assistance and none of them offered me any services. I don’t buy any sophisticated gadgets often. so
I
to a very great extent or degree
So
 have very little knowledge about the specifications. When did I ask one of your
shop
 employees to explain the specifications of Apple's phone and why it is better than other Mobiles? He behaved very rudely and did not answer as per asked. I feel very bad and uncomfortable. Eventually, I came back without buying anything. I regret that I have chosen your
shop
 and will never be there again.
However
, you should know how are your employees attending your customers?
Also
, give them training on how to deal when someone comes to your store. I hope you will understand the concern and will take care of future clients so that they will get remarkable services.
Submitted by vandusharma128 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: