IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The bar chart below shows the average Australian water consumption in selected cities for last year. The pie chart shows the distribution of Australian water consumption for last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below shows the average Australian water consumption in selected cities for last year. The pie chart shows the distribution of Australian water consumption for last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#bar #australian #water #consumption #cities #year #distribution #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The given charts illustrate information about the consumption of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
water
 in different cities in Australia and the exact
amount
 of
water
 used in various industries which had taken a place
last
 year. It can be clearly seen from the first chart the highest
amount
 of
water
 has been used in Perth city
while
 the
second
 graph showed
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
 Agriculture contributed the largest portion of the figure.
According to
 what is shown both Melbourne and Canberra had approximately the same
amount
 of
water
 used around 150 and 120 kilolitres per property, respectively,
while
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Adelaide city used
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 amounts of
water
 than Brisbane, which
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 about 220 and 250. The highest figures
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
water
 consumption were in Perth.
On the other hand
, the most reason for using that
amount
 of
water
 was agriculture, which was exactly 67%,
while
 the least reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
water
 consumption was mining 2%. Both
water
 supply and electricity had the same percentage 7% and 4% were in manufacturing and other industries.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words water, amount with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: