IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

the graph and table below give information about water use worldwide and water consumption in two different countries

the graph and table below give information about water use worldwide and water consumption in two different countries
#information #water #consumption #two #countries
The graph and detailed
table
 illustrate the details of
water
 use globally and
water
usage
 in two different countries, namely,
Brazil
 and
Democratic
Correct article usage
the Democratic
show examples
 Republic of
Congo
 In 1900,
water
usage
 was almost 0 km3 for
industrial
Add an article
the industrial
show examples
 and domestic
sector
Fix the agreement mistake
sectors
show examples
while
 it was around 500 km3 for
agriculture
. During 100 years period, all 3
sectors'
Correct your spelling
sectors
show examples
, which are mentioned,
consumption
 of
water
 increased and
agriculture
 hold
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
first place from 1900 to 2000. Turning
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
table
, it gives information about the population, irrigated land and
water
consumption
 per person for 2 different countries given. From 1900 to 2000, the figure
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
agriculture
 increased rapidly and reached almost 3100 km3
while
 industrial and domestic figures maintained the same level until 1940
where
Correct word choice
when
show examples
 industrial
usage
 began to increase
while
 domestic
consumption
 went up after 1960 and reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
about
1000km3
Correct your spelling
1000 km3
. It can be seen from the
table
 ,
water
consumption
 per person in
Brazil
 was considerably higher than
Congo
Change preposition
in Congo
show examples
 which was 359 m3 and 8 m3, respectively.
In addition
, irrigated land in
Brazil
 was 26500 km2 which was almost 27 times more than
Congo
's irrigated land.
Overall
,
agriculture
 was the main sector for
water
usage
 in 100 years period. There were massive differences between
Brazil
 and
Democratic
Correct article usage
the Democratic
show examples
 Republic of
Congo
 in the details given in the
table
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words table, water, usage, brazil, congo, km, agriculture, consumption with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "gives" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: