The charts below show the average percentages in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eating too much. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the average percentages in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eating too much.

Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The pie charts compare the average proportions of three unhealthy nutrients, namely
sodium
, saturated fat and added sugar, in typical meals consumed by American people.
Overall
,
while
the majority of
sodium
and saturated fats are consumed in the dinner meal, added sugars are mostly eaten in
Add an article
a snack
the snack
show examples
snack
Fix the agreement mistake
snacks
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. (wrong form)
In addition
, breakfast is by far the healthiest meal of
during
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the day. The average percentages of
sodium
and saturated fats consumption in the dinner meal are the highest, (43% and 37% respectively). Both are
That is
followed by those of lunch, with 29% for
sodium
and 26% for saturated fat.
However
, there are
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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just 23% of
add
Change the form of the verb
added
show examples
sugar consumed through eating at dinner and nearly one-fifth
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
through eating lunch. In terms of Breakfast contains more or less around 15% of those nutrients. is eaten during it. Regarding snacks,
its
Change the word
the
show examples
average percentage
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
added sugar constitutes up to 42%,
while
those for
sodium
and saturated fat are barely 14% and 21%
accordingly
.
Submitted by r.lahiji on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words sodium with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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