In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this?

#countries #people #work #travel #year #school #university #studies

Young people are inspired to

work

or travel for

Add an article

the

show examples

year

Fix the agreement mistake

years

show examples

during

Change preposition

after

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

finishing high school and starting

university

studies in some countries.

This

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

essay will discuss

benefits

Correct article usage

the benefits

show examples

and drawbacks. The

benefits

Fix the agreement mistake

benefit

show examples

of working or traveling

Change preposition

show examples

young

Correct article usage

a young

show examples

age is they will have working

experiences

Fix the agreement mistake

experience

show examples

. It will

helpful

Add a missing verb

be helpful

show examples

after they graduate

university

Change preposition

from university

show examples

and they will not have difficulties on their first day at

work

. They will not have time to travel during

university

studies. It is

chance

Correct article usage

a chance

show examples

to travel and relax before going to

university

Also

Add a comma

Also,

show examples

young people can learn new

culture

Fix the agreement mistake

cultures

show examples

Correct word choice

and

show examples

laguages

Correct your spelling

languages

language

and find some resources for their

presentaion

Correct your spelling

presentations

Change preposition

show examples

university

Add an article

the university

show examples

Furthermore

, they can

work

without studying

Change preposition

show examples

university

if the payment of

job

Correct article usage

a job

show examples

is enough for them.

For instance

, young people can run their own businesses if

Add a verb

it is

it was

show examples

successful.

On the other hand

, they might not bear loading in some

workplace

Fix the agreement mistake

workplaces

show examples

, so it will bring negative

effect

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effects

show examples

However

, working before going to

university

is good for them, it has a little deficiency. Probably they cannot learn all knowledge of study in

university

for 4 years.

Also

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Also,

show examples

is depend

Change the verb form

depends

show examples

on their

choise

Correct your spelling

choice

Conclusion,they will try to find

work

, but no one will take them for a

work

without

diplomas

Fix the agreement mistake

diploma

show examples

Tue Feb 18 2020

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29Grammar mistakes
 

1 paragraphs

201 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Cultural immersion
Life experience
Work ethic
Career readiness
Self-discovery
Delayed gratification
Intellectual stagnation
Financial implications
Social dynamics
Academic trajectory

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In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

In some countries levels of health and fitness are decreasing and average weighs are increasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what are some possible solutions?

The only way to improve road safety is to have stricter punishments for driving offenders.

It is often said “when in Rome, do as the Romans do”. Do you think people should adapt and accept the culture of the country they visit? Do you think it is possible to learn a culture without learning the language?

The world is experiencing a dramatic increase in population, This is causing problems not only for poor, undeveloped countries, but also for industrialised and developing nations. Describe some of the problems that overpopulation causes, and suggest at least one possible solution.

In many countries, an increase in crime has be blamed on violent images on television and in computer games. To what extend do you agree