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Writing Samples /
Band 6

The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.
#proportion #population #three #countries #information #features #comparisons
The bar graph depicts the senior
people
population
 over 100
years
 from 1940 to 2040, across three nations. Over the
years
, it is notable that Japan
been
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
 the least in
population
Add an article
the population
a population
show examples
 of aged
people
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 is predicted to become the highest populated country and
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 two nations show almost a similar trend. To start with the most fascinating trend, Japan which had
5
Correct article usage
a 5
show examples
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
population
 in 1940 , decreased over the upcoming
years
 till the mid of 1980 and took a steady increase over the
years
 and still is predicted to be highly populated with senior
people
. USA and Sweden have shown
an almost similar variations
Correct the article-noun agreement
almost similar variations
an almost similar variation
show examples
 with Sweden showing more fluctuations between the
years
 1980 and 2020, and it is predicted to bag the
second
 highest populated country with more number of aged
people
. It is understandable that, for all
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
three countries, the
flowt
Correct your spelling
flow
float
 is reversed over the
years
.
USA
Correct article usage
The USA
show examples
, which started with 10
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
senior
Add an article
the senior
show examples
population
 ended up
to be
Change the verb form
being
show examples
 predicted as the
countey
Correct your spelling
country
 with
less
Correct quantifier usage
fewer
show examples
 senior
people
 in 2040,
similarly
 in Sweden and Japan.

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, population, years with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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