Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations, Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

A group of people believes that it is good to adjust to all problems like not
fulfilled
Wrong verb form
fulfilling
show examples
jobs and low finance. Other party thinks that people need to put effort into developing a lifestyle. To form a judicious opinion a discussion is essential, where I stand with the second group. On the one hand, the person needs to accept and to all
issues
Add a comma
,issues
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inactivity is to reduce the happiness of the individual. To explain, people not involved
to develop
Change preposition
in developing
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their lifestyle and maintaining the same situation from
starting
Wrong verb form
the start
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leads to a major crisis and
affect
Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
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the new
generation
Change noun form
generation's
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growth in society.
For example
, in a family
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
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always
constant
Change the word
constantly
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in growth as they are afraid to take a risk
as a result
, children get average benefits like low education and basic needs.
Thus
, it is
clearly
Change the word
clear
show examples
steady
living-pattern
Correct your spelling
living pattern
show examples
results in less growth
in-home
Correct your spelling
in home
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members.
On the other hand
, try to improve family welfare and reduce issues to promote comfort. To elaborate, good work with a nice salary
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
a
guaranty
Replace the word
guarantee
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and reduces stress. Financial issues create critical
the
Correct article usage
apply
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situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
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due to
hopelessness.
For instance
,
a
Correct word choice
if a
show examples
person meets an emergency,
first,
he or she thinks about money because they need to clear catastrophe. To live a pleasant family improvement is essential for the individual
as well as
society.
Thus
, it is evident promotion is necessary for all sole.
To conclude
, I think fixed jobs and poor financial status
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
negative impacts,
while
, changes with modification in the soul
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
benefits.
Due to
this
reason, I support the second group.
Submitted by ajithajesus1st on

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coherence and cohesion
Improve syntax and cohesion. Some sentences are hard to understand due to grammatical inconsistencies.
task response
Increase clarity and specificity of ideas. Some points made are too vague and do not effectively communicate your ideas.
lexical resource
Enhance usage of complex sentences and paraphrase key words and phrases to avoid repetition.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • adversity
  • resilience
  • stoicism
  • contentment
  • cope
  • adapt
  • endure
  • persevere
  • settle
  • ambition
  • tenacious
  • determined
  • resourceful
  • optimistic
  • self-improvement
  • proactive
  • initiative
  • transform
  • overcome
  • confront
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