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Band 4

Do you agree that the advantages cars bring outweigh the disadvantages?

#cars
Using
cars
 has become increasingly common in recent years.
Although
 I
Think
Fix capitalization
think
show examples
 that it maintains some obvious harmful consequences, I strongly believe that The advantages of the
car
 can outweigh its advantages. On the one hand, owning
cars
 has a significant influence on the environment. The first reason is that the growth in travelling by
car
 can lead to a rise in pollution, Traffic jams, and accidents. More
cars
 are likely to result in a rocketing rate of Pollution.
Secondly
, our dependence on
cars
 can lead to
decrease
Correct article usage
a decrease
show examples
 in practices,
such
 as walking and cycling. People may have a higher chance of carrying more Potential health risks, like obesity and heart attack.
On the other hand
, there are many reasons why people prefer to own
cars
.
Firstly
, It provides people with the freedom of movement. The ease of transportation Which a
car
 brings is
significant
Correct quantifier usage
more significant
show examples
/
prominent
Correct quantifier usage
more prominent
show examples
 than any other form of
vehicles
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicle
show examples
. For Example, you can go from
a
Correct determiner usage
one
show examples
 destination to another destination and no time is
Wasted
Fix capitalization
wasted
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 waiting for the bus or train.
Therefore
, time and distance are not barriers Anymore.
Secondly
, personal
cars
 can give comfort
while
 travelling compared to
The
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
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 which
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 so crowded and disgusting.
For instance
, you can Read books, listen to your favourite songs or even play with kids
while
 you are in Your own
car
 but all seems to be impossible on
a public transport
Remove the article
public transport
a means of public transport
a mode of public transport
show examples
.
Finally
, Families can go together.
This
 becomes especially helpful when there are elderly, The disabled or even sick members in the families. In conclusion, having a
car
 can lead to a few obvious problems, but I believe that Owning a
car
 is the best choice and the benefits that it brings about can outshine
it
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
Drawbacks.
Submitted by mukta.rattry2019 on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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