The only way to solve the increasing crime rate of young offenders is to teach parents better parenting skills. To what extent do you agree?

In today’s society, nobody can deny that they find it typical for crimes to be committed by juveniles. It is believed that the increasing rate of young offenders is constructed from lousy parenting. As a consequence, it is suggested that parents are the only ones who must have the obligations to be more educated about the care of their adolescents. I disagree with
this
statement as we need to take into account the other factors that may help in reducing the crime rate of youngsters,
instead
of instructing parents parental skills. There is no doubt that educating parents these skills is crucial in guiding their
child
’s behaviour, as parents play as an important role model and are the biggest influences to their kids. It has been learned that children will react in a way that has been affected by their role models,
thus
parents that condone violence within their families or to others will set a bad example for their children. Researchers have said that a considerable amount of kids belonging to a happy family may be a benefit compared to those who are from a troublesome one.
This
is provided that the
child
is grown up in a positive environment.
However
, parents aren’t all to blame since there are many factors that must be taken into account that could make a
child
have bad behaviour. Children these days learn from everything they see.
For instance
, social media is a very effective aspect in shaping a
child
’s conduct. There is a considerably large difference between children who watch or play violent games and children who watch calm stuff. Many parents control what their
child
plays and watches, but there is a limit for what parents can do. Another factor that would be a risk to the falling victim to
crime
Suggestion
criminalize
criminalise
is the negative peer pressure. Children learn a considerable amount from their friends, which could be a threat towards a
child
.
This
seems that children should play with
friends but
Accept comma addition
friends, but
children shouldn’t play without direct supervision and parents should give codes of conduct and make ground rules. In conclusion,
although
parents play a major role in embodying a
child
’s attitude I
however
do not believe that parents should be blamed for all of a
child
's behaviour. Since there are more reasons that parents can’t all control.
Submitted by macnalinpakorn on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: