IELTS Academic Writing Task 1/ Graph Writing - Bar Chart: You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The chart below shows the top ten countries with the highest spending on travel in 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

GRAPHICS IN
THIS
TEST INTRODUCE THE READER
ABOUT
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TO
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THE TOP TEN
COUNTRIES
WITH THE HIGHEST ALLOCATION ON TRAVEL IN 2014. THE TOP TEN
COUNTRIES
WERE DISPLAYING THE READER AS
CONCERN
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CONCERNED
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EXPENDITURE BASED ON THE CALCULATION OF US $
TONS
.
COUNTRIES
FROM THE INFORMATION CHART
CONTAINS
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CONTAIN
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THE
WELL KNOWN
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WELL-KNOWN
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COUNTRIES
,
SUCH
AS
:
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apply
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CHINA
, THE UNITED STATES, GERMANY, THE UNITED KINGDOM, SINGAPORE, SOUTH KOREA, HONG KONG, INDIA, MALAYSIA, AND
TAIWAN
. THE INFORMATION FROM
CHART
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THE CHART
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WAS USING MULTIPLE OF 20 SCALES WHICH
STARTS
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START
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FROM 0 TO 120.
THEN
THE GRAPH WAS
SHOWED
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SHOWN
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WITH
HORIZONTAL
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A HORIZONTAL
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DISPLAY WHICH IS ACCOMPANIED BY THE SEPARATOR LINE IN THE SCALE WITH VALUE 4.
THIS
WAS RELATED TO THE SOURCE FROM UNWTO
OVERALL
, THE
CHINA
SPENT MORE MONEY ON CONSUMER TRAVEL THAN
OTHER
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THE OTHER
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9 (NINE)
COUNTRIES
IN 2014.
CHINA
SPENT MONEY ON TRAVEL WITH
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A CONCENTRATE
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CONCENTRATE
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CONCENTRATION
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110
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OF 110
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US $
TONS
.
NEXT
RATED ACCORDED TO THE UNITED STATES AND GERMANY WITH 85 US $
TONS
, AND
ALSO
FOLLOWED BY THE UNITED KINGDOM WITH 55 US $
TONS
, SOUTH KOREA AND HONG KONG WITH 20 US $
TONS
, INDIA WITH 15 US $
TONS
,
THEN
MALAYSIA WITH 12 US $
TONS
. THE
LAST
RATED IN GRAPHIC SHOWED BY THE COUNTRY OF
TAIWAN
WITH 10 US $
TONS
CONSUMED IN 2014 IN TERMS OF COMPARISON OF DONATION
CONSUMER
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CONSUMERS
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ON
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IN
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CHINA
WITH
TAIWAN
WERE
Unnecessary verb
apply
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CONTAINED 100 US $
TONS
. AS THE CHART SHOW THE PURCHASER EXPENDED
ON
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IN
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CHINA
IS 11 TIMES LARGER THAN
TAIWAN
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IN TAIWAN
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. THE ANOTHER FACT THAT
READER
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THE READER
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CAN
TOOK
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TAKE
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FROM THE GRAPH WAS FROM TOP TO BOTTOM, UNITS OF SPENDING
WAS
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WERE
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DECREASING FROM ONE TO ANOTHER. THERE ARE 2 (TWO)
COUNTRIES
THAT HAVE THE EQUALIZATION OF SPENDING
COSTUMERS
Correct your spelling
CUSTOMERS
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EACH OTHER. SOME
COUNTRIES
IN ASIA
WAS
Correct subject-verb agreement
WERE
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TELLING US TO CONTINUE AND DOMINATE COMPARED TO OTHER CONTINENTS IN YEARS OF 2014. THE CONCLUSION FROM THE DIAGRAM WAS TELLING US ABOUT
MONEY
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THE MONEY
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SPENT ON
TOUR
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THE TOUR
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2014
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IN 2014
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.
CHINA
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CHINA'S
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NEIGHBOURING
COUNTRIES
, HONG KONG AND
TAIWAN
ARE INCLUDED. THAT
ALSO
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IS ALSO
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RELATED TO
NUMBER
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THE NUMBER
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OF POPULATIONS WHERE THERE ARE POTENTIALS FOR HUGE TRAVELS
Submitted by agus.adi.sumerta7 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words countries, tons, china, taiwan with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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