Some people state that the national teams and an individual sportsman and sportswomen should be financially sponsored by the government or non-government body. how far do you agree or disagree with this statement?

It has been a trend for the
last
few decades that sportsmen and teams are sponsored by corporate bodies and/or
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
. With the increasing extent of financial sponsorship, controversies over their worthiness are
also
rising,
However
, there is nothing wrong in sponsoring them, provided the drawbacks are taken care of. There are plentiful benefits of sponsoring sportsmen financially.
First,
players
can use the money to buy expensive but useful and latest
sports
equipment that can help in enhancing their skills.
In addition
, there are many costly software programs that can be
then
Rephrase
apply
show examples
acquired to understand the game better and improve their performance.
Second,
with the help of finance, teams can hire doctors, physiotherapists, and
sports
psychologists. All these professional services are highly expensive but extremely essential to the team members for maintaining their physical fitness, improving
mental
Correct pronoun usage
their mental
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
attitude and expanding
professional
Correct pronoun usage
their professional
show examples
life.
Finally
,
this
money is a boon for upcoming
players
who do not have enough financial resources to support their
sports
activities.
On the other hand
, there are some loopholes in
this
process. To start with,
players
get handsome amounts as their match fees, prizes and other gifts for their participation in tournaments.
Next,
it is
also
seen that popular
sports
individuals earn millions out of private brand endorsement contracts and other events like inauguration ceremonies Com parties, cultural programs and so forth.
Finally
, companies focus only on the highly successful
player
Fix the agreement mistake
players
show examples
of popular
sports
.
Consequently
, other segments are completely neglected. In conclusion, I assert that if the authorities give desired importance and justice
all
Change preposition
to all
show examples
segments of
sports
, financial sponsorship can be a boon for the
players
.
Submitted by ronakadesara3448 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that the main points are presented in a clear and coherent way. Consider structuring the essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task and provide clear, comprehensive ideas. Use relevant and specific examples to support your points.
lexical resource
Expand the range of vocabulary used and ensure that the word choice is appropriate for the context. Aim to use a variety of vocabulary to express ideas more precisely.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure, grammar, and punctuation. Aim to use a range of complex and simple sentences to convey ideas clearly and accurately.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Read more in the eBook

The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »

* free ebook for Premium users

What to do next:
Look at other essays: