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Band 3.5

The graph shows data about annual earnings of three bakeries in London 2000-2010

The graph shows data about annual earnings of three bakeries in London 2000-2010
#data #earnings #three #bakeries #london
The
multi line
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multi-line
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 graph
demonstrate
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demonstrates
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 information about the yearly earnings
in
Change preposition
of
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 London's three different bakeries between 2000 and 2010.
Overall
,
Sofia
 and
Cake
Lab
 had been illustrated significantly increasing during the decade
while
,
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apply
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 Buns had been shown a fluctuation decrease from pick point in these years. Let
is
Correct your spelling
us
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glance
Add an article
a glance
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to
Change preposition
at
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Sofia
's rise which was stability about 5 years, but after 2006 depicted
sharply
Correct article usage
a sharply
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 grow from 65.000 to 105.000.
On the other hand
, another baker
Cake
Lab
 was not as popular as
Sofia
, despite climbing
and
Correct word choice
apply
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in addition
,
Cake
Lab
also
 recorded steadiness
approximately
Change preposition
for approximately
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 4 years from 2004 to 2008 by 40.000
Finally
,
third
Correct article usage
the third
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 baker Buns
feced
Correct your spelling
faced
fenced
feed
 with an oscillation changes and had been dramatically downed to
weak
Correct article usage
a weak
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 point which was in 2010 and consisted
35000
Change preposition
of 35000
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. Buns' trend
also
 had been crossed with
Sofia
 in 2006 and
Cake
Lab
 in 2009.
Submitted by dudosh0 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sofia, cake, lab with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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