In some countries celebrities earn higher salaries than senior politicians. What are the reason? Is it a negative or positive developments.

#countries #celebrities #salaries #politicians #reason #developments

Famous musicians and film personalities earn a lot of money than

people

in other professions. It is often said that the field of entertainment makes money more than a government leader.

This

essay will discuss several reasons for

such

a situation and I believe that it has affirmative outcomes. Out of all the reasons, the foremost one is film stars have a

short

Correct word choice

shorter

show examples

career span than that

Change preposition

apply

show examples

doctors, engineers, and

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

government

employee

Fix the agreement mistake

employees

show examples

. If they earn handsome millions of rupees, they

would

Wrong verb form

will

show examples

secure their future.

This

is the reason why

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

celebrities are taking higher bucks.

Furthermore

, entertainment is a very important part of our lives. In our day-to-day hustle and bustle routine, it is movies and music that rescue us from

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

boredom and monotony.

While

they work hard and put

Change preposition

apply

show examples

a lot of effort

for

Change preposition

into

show examples

entertaining other

people

. So, they

have deserved

Wrong verb form

deserve

show examples

to earn millions of dollars every year. With regards to the question of a beneficial trend or negative, I think it is helpful for society and nation.

High earning

Add a hyphen

High-earning

show examples

superstar is helping in numerous ways to the country.

For example

, the Times of India showed that Salman Khan donates 50

lakhs

Fix the agreement mistake

lakh

show examples

rupees

for

Change preposition

show examples

children, who are suffering from blood cancer.

Also

Add a comma

Also,

show examples

they would open an acting school without charge for those who have no money to secure their future in

this

field.

Thus

, there are productivity benefits to the country and community.

To conclude

, all the above points strengthen my opinion that

people

entertainment

Correct article usage

the entertainment

show examples

business receive

Correct article usage

the

show examples

payment that they deserve and

this

is a positive phenomenon for

people

and

nation

Correct article usage

the nation

show examples

Submitted by ppparthpatel906 on Tue Mar 24 2020

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that the introduction clearly states the stance taken in the essay and provides a brief outline of the supporting points. The conclusion should summarize the main arguments and provide a clear final thought.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples and supporting details to strengthen the argument. Ensure that each paragraph relates back to the main topic and supports the thesis statement effectively.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

268 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In some countries celebrities earn higher salaries than senior politicians. What are the reason? Is it a negative or positive developments.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Some people regard eating meat as completely wrong. To what extent do you agree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some people believe that good teamwork is what makes companies successful. Others feel that it is more important to have a good leader. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development ?