The charts below show the average percentages in typical meals, of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much.

#show #percentages #meals #three #nutrients

The provided pie charts illustrate datum of the

averages

Change the noun form

average

show examples

percentages in typical meals of the three types of nutrients all of which are

likelihood

Replace the word

likely

show examples

eaten too much based on

sodium

, saturated fat and added sugars consumed in the USA.

Overall

, undoubtedly I can say that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

sodium

and saturated fat occupied the highest position

Correct your spelling

show examples

dinner

as well as

in added sugar section is

snack

Add an article

a snack

show examples

Opposite

Add an article

The opposite

show examples

side, breakfast is the lowest sector in all of

parts

Add an article

the parts

show examples

without

sodium

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

Add an article

a snack

show examples

snack

Fix the agreement mistake

snacks

show examples

Correct your spelling

show examples

start with, multifarious typical meals consumed in the USA. Fast of all,

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

sodium

hitting a low point are

snack

Fix the agreement mistake

snacks

show examples

and breakfast these

rate

Change the determiner

rates

show examples

are individually 14%

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

. After that, lunch

as well as

at the end

of dinners is

express

Wrong verb form

expressed

show examples

top one figure.

This

rate

Fix the agreement mistake

rates

show examples

both

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

29% and 43%.

Saturated

Add an article

The saturated

A saturated

show examples

fat

ration

Correct your spelling

ratio

show examples

is a bit higher compared to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

sodium

. In saturated fat

snack

and

breakfast’s

Change noun form

breakfast

show examples

rates

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

rise

Change the form of the verb

rising

show examples

a little more slowly and the

second

part dinner and lunch going

Change preposition

apply

show examples

downward rather than

sodium

Finally

added sugar all of the sectors’

ratio

Fix the agreement mistake

ratios

show examples

are completely changed

compare

Wrong verb form

compared

show examples

above-sited

Correct article usage

the above-sited

show examples

others

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

sectors. End of

research

Correct article usage

the research

show examples

those

sectors

Change noun form

sectors'

show examples

percentage

Fix the agreement mistake

percentages

show examples

are 21%, 16%, 26%, and 37% in

snack

, breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Submitted by aalruhul on Tue Mar 31 2020

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "as well as".

▼

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 71%.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words sodium, snack with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentages" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
33Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

205 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Nutrients
Unhealthy
Daily intake
Percentage
Carbohydrates
Fats
Proteins
Meals
Balanced diet
Consumption
Excess
Health implications
Obesity
Diabetes
Heart disease
Convenience foods
Fast foods
Socioeconomic factors
Lifestyle choices
Healthy eating habits
Dietary recommendations

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The charts below show the average percentages in typical meals, of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much.

Some people think that it is necessary to travel abroad to learn about other countries, but others think that it is not necessary to travel abroad because all information can be seen on TV and the Internet. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some people believe that parents should teach their students to be good citizens, however believe that school should do this. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in teams, like football, while other people think that taking part in individual sports, like tennis or swimming, is better. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

The best way to reduce youth crime is to educate parents about good parenting skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree

In nearly all science courses at university, there are significantly more male students than female students. What is the reason for this? What could be done to balance out the number?