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Band 6.5

The charts below show the results of a survey about what people of different age groups say makes them most happy.

The charts below show the results of a survey about what people of different age groups say makes them most happy.
#show #results #survey #people #age #groups
the pie charts indicate the results of the survey about what makes
people
 happy by dividing
people
`s age. In general, it seems both pie charts have some similarities and differences. For both charts, the highest percentage of the factor that makes them happy was work achievements for
under
Correct pronoun usage
those under
show examples
 30 and over 30
people
, 31% and 32% respectively.
Moreover
 , 22% of
people
 who are under 30 said that when they`re doing their hobbies they feel most happy. It is clear to notice that almost
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 amount of
people
 (22%) who is over 30 say that they feel
happiness
 from their leisure time activities.
On the other hand
, having a good appearance 18%, travelling (15%) and other factors (14%) are most important for
people
 under thirty`s
happiness
.
In contrast
, for
people
 over 30, financial stability
20
Add a missing verb
is 20
show examples
%, and being with family (14%) become the reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 their
happiness
.
Overall
, it is important to note that work and
hobby
Fix the agreement mistake
hobbies
show examples
 are
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
 essential
happiness
source
Fix the agreement mistake
sources
show examples
 for any age
people
.
However
, good looking and travelling are the
second
 crucial reason for young
people
.
By comparison
, for
people
 who are over 30, financial security and family are significantly important
factor
Fix the agreement mistake
factors
show examples
their
Change preposition
in their
show examples
happiness
Submitted by ecifuentesg1 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, happiness with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 2 times.
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