The charts above show local government expenditure in 2010 and 2015. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts above show local government expenditure in 2010 and 2015.

Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Learning is an important thing to gain some
knowledges
Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
show examples
, and it can be accessed through many methods,
such
as online-learning, ordinary
class
Fix the agreement mistake
classes
show examples
, and especially
study
abroad. Recently, there has been an upward trend for
students
, who are taking
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
overseas opportunities.
This
tendency may lead to some benefits for the
students
and the
involving
Replace the word
involved
show examples
countries.
Study
Wrong verb form
Studying
show examples
abroad, which is allowing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
students
to
study
across
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
countries, may need some requirements, and it needs more
efforts
Fix the agreement mistake
effort
show examples
.
Therefore
, by joining
this
program,
students
may learn
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
soft
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
.
For instance
, passing the IELTS test is mandatory for the pupils, who join the exchange program.
Furthermore
, they must prepare for the IELTS test, which needs extra energy and time.
Thus
, they learn how to manage their time between academic businesses and IELTS preparation.
Also
, learning in
foreign
Add an article
a foreign
show examples
country
will make them
having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
international friends, which may help them to learn
its
Change preposition
about its
show examples
culture and habits.
Therefore
, they will have a new experience.
In addition
, having foreign
students
in a
country
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will increase the visa incomes in the
involving
Replace the word
involved
show examples
country
.
On the other hand
,
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
abroad may bring several disadvantages. Since each
country
has a different culture, it may shock the student when learning in a new place.
This
situation may lead to uncomfortable feelings, which can prohibit the
student
Change noun form
student's
show examples
performances
Fix the agreement mistake
performance
show examples
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
academic activities. Another drawback that might be happening is
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
promiscuity.
This
condition is the most common problem for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
foreign
students
, which can harm
themselves
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
Also
, having
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
international
students
is not always good.
This
is supported by the fact that they are vulnerable to
join
Wrong verb form
joining
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
promiscuity, and it may lead to criminal actions. If there are many
criminality
Replace the word
criminal
show examples
actions caused by that group, unfortunately, it will burden the regional government. To summarize,
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
abroad may bring some new experiences and gain some
knowledges
Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
show examples
.
However
, we need to be selective in choosing friends
otherwise
it can harm
ourselves
Correct pronoun usage
us
show examples
.
Submitted by michellina594 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, therefore".
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words study, students, country with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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