The charts above show local government expenditure in 2010 and 2015. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#show #government #expenditure #information #features #comparisons

Learning is an important thing to gain some

knowledges

Change the wording

knowledge

pieces of knowledge

bits of knowledge

show examples

, and it can be accessed through many methods,

such

as online-learning, ordinary

class

Fix the agreement mistake

classes

show examples

, and especially

study

abroad. Recently, there has been an upward trend for

students

, who are taking

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

overseas opportunities.

This

tendency may lead to some benefits for the

students

and the

involving

Replace the word

involved

show examples

countries.

Study

Wrong verb form

Studying

show examples

abroad, which is allowing

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

students

study

across

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

countries, may need some requirements, and it needs more

efforts

Fix the agreement mistake

effort

show examples

Therefore

, by joining

this

program,

students

may learn

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

soft

skill

Fix the agreement mistake

skills

show examples

For instance

, passing the IELTS test is mandatory for the pupils, who join the exchange program.

Furthermore

, they must prepare for the IELTS test, which needs extra energy and time.

Thus

, they learn how to manage their time between academic businesses and IELTS preparation.

Also

, learning in

foreign

Add an article

a foreign

show examples

country

will make them

having

Wrong verb form

have

show examples

international friends, which may help them to learn

its

Change preposition

about its

show examples

culture and habits.

Therefore

, they will have a new experience.

In addition

, having foreign

students

in a

country

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

will increase the visa incomes in the

involving

Replace the word

involved

show examples

country

On the other hand

study

Wrong verb form

studying

show examples

abroad may bring several disadvantages. Since each

country

has a different culture, it may shock the student when learning in a new place.

This

situation may lead to uncomfortable feelings, which can prohibit the

student

Change noun form

student's

show examples

performances

Fix the agreement mistake

performance

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

academic activities. Another drawback that might be happening is

Remove the article

apply

show examples

promiscuity.

This

condition is the most common problem for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

foreign

students

, which can harm

themselves

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

Also

, having

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

international

students

is not always good.

This

is supported by the fact that they are vulnerable to

join

Wrong verb form

joining

show examples

Remove the article

apply

show examples

promiscuity, and it may lead to criminal actions. If there are many

criminality

Replace the word

criminal

show examples

actions caused by that group, unfortunately, it will burden the regional government. To summarize,

study

Wrong verb form

studying

show examples

abroad may bring some new experiences and gain some

knowledges

Change the wording

knowledge

pieces of knowledge

bits of knowledge

show examples

However

, we need to be selective in choosing friends

otherwise

it can harm

ourselves

Correct pronoun usage

show examples

Submitted by michellina594 on Fri Apr 03 2020

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, therefore".

▼

Introduction: The introduction is missing.

▼

Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.

▼

Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

▼

Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.

Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.

▼

Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words study, students, country with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

▼

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

320 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The charts above show local government expenditure in 2010 and 2015. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Some people think women should be allowed to join the army, the navy and the air force just like men. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that universities should not provide so much theoretical knowledge but give more practical training throughout their courses. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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In Recent Years Many Local Shops Have Closed Because Customers Travel To Large Shopping Malls