IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The bar chart below shows shares of expenditures for five major categories in the United States, Canada, the United Kingdom, and Japan in the year of 2009

The bar chart below shows shares of expenditures for five major categories in the United States, Canada, the United Kingdom, and Japan in the year of 2009
#bar #shares #expenditures #five #categories #states #canada #kingdom #japan #year
The bar chart compares the consumption
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 five primary categories, including food, housing, transportation, health care and clothing in four different countries in 2009.
It is clear that
 consumers spent money on housing much more than that
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the other four categories shown.
By contrast
, the percentage of citizens in these nations spending on health care was the lowest. It can be seen from the chart, the percentage of Americans allocating money to
‘housing’
Correct article usage
the ‘housing’
show examples
 sector,
around
Add a missing verb
is around
show examples
 26%, which was 12% and 9% higher than that for food and transportation respectively. Simultaneously, Japan invested
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
 money
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 food, at just 23%, followed by 14% of Americans, 15% of Canadians and just 20% of British. The proportions of the US and
Canada
Replace the word
Canadian
show examples
 purchasers expending on transportation were higher than the figures for the others, with around 17 % and 20% respectively.
On the other hand
, healthcare and clothing were the least two expensive sectors. There were no significant differences in the proportions of the citizens in these nations spending on clothing, around 4 % to 6%.
However
, the rate of expenditure for health care in the United States was 7%,
the
Correct word choice
and the
show examples
 figures for
Canada
Replace the word
Canadian
show examples
 and
Japan
Replace the word
Japanese
show examples
 citizens were the same,
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 4%.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: