IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than international music heard everywhere nowadays?

#music #world #country
It is true that a rich variety of musical styles can be found around the world.
Music
 is a vital
part
 of all human cultures for a range of reasons, and I would argue that traditional
music
 is more important than modern, international
music
.
Music
 is something that accompanies all of us throughout our lives. As children, we are taught songs by our parents and teachers as a means of learning language, or simply as a form of enjoyment. Children delight in singing with others, and it would appear that the act of singing in a group creates a connection between participants, regardless of their age. Later in life, people’s musical preferences develop, and we come to see our favourite songs as
part
 of our life
stories
Suggestion
story
.
Music
 both expresses and arouses emotions in a way that words alone cannot. In short, it is difficult to imagine life without it. In my opinion, traditional
music
 should be valued over the international
music
 that has become so popular. International pop
music
 is often catchy and fun, but it is essentially a commercial product
that is
 marketed and sold by business people. Traditional
music
,
by contrast
, expresses the culture, customs and history of a country. Traditional styles, connect us to the past and form
part
 of our cultural identity. It would be a real pity if pop
music
 became so predominant that these national styles disappeared. In conclusion,
music
 is a necessary
part
 of human existence, and I believe that traditional
music
 should be given more importance than international
music
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: