The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is no doubt that physical exercise is an integral part of our lives and plays a crucial role to keep everyone healthy. A number of health enthusiasts,
therefore
, suggest that physical tutorials should be inherited in schools,
thus
aiming to deal with critical health-related issues afterwards.
However
, I do not accord with the above mentioned statement, especially in terms of including an entire curriculum in the education system, and in
this
essay, I will highlight my views with pertinent examples. One concern in terms of time and money, if a formal school gets associated to develop
it's
of a thing, of it; possessive form of "it"
its
physical education modules and seasoned tutors, many hours along with the money will be invested in a grey area. The reason for
this
is that any kind of workout or manual labour depends on a person's willingness - not on awareness.
For instance
, boarding schools, where physical activities are heavily emphasized, often face a few obese pupils, who are neither motivated or interested.
Therefore
, it would be barely feasible to measure someone's interest to lose her/his weight in the future after introducing
such
programmes. Another significant problem is that
mandatory
Suggestion
mandated
participation would not produce the best output, whereas active people are usually being committed to doing a morning walk or an evening run voluntarily. As the end result of physical education cannot be ensured, people may not be nudged to become slim after their graduation.
For example
, Olympic athletes are often driven to pursue their career in a running field or a
swimming track
Accept comma addition
swimming, track
for their passion, which cannot be brought forcefully.
Thus
, young minds could alter to be more rebellious rather than fitter. In conclusion, a class dedicated
to enhance
Suggestion
to enhancing
the physical state would not only be costly and time consuming, but
also
be strict to many kids and adolescents, who will be enrolled there for the sake of their attendance - not for pursuing it religiously.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • obesity rates
  • health care system
  • physical education
  • instill
  • long term
  • raise awareness
  • healthier lifestyle choices
  • nutritional education
  • active transport
  • quality of instruction
  • facilities and equipment
  • diet control initiatives
  • community sports programs
What to do next:
Look at other essays: