IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

You work at home and have a problem with a piece of equipment that you use for your job

#work #home #piece #equipment #job
Dear Sir or Madam, One
months
Suggestion
month
 ago I bought an online Lenovo
desktop
computer
 from your store. Unfortunately, the product has suddenly stopped working and is impossible to switch on. I really need
this
desktop
computer
 to complete my PgD study and I hope you will repair it soon. In relation to the specifics of the problem, the
desktop
computer
 screen does not show anything except a black screen with some red dots on it. It looked overheated. It worked just fine the day before
yesterday but
Accept comma addition
yesterday, but
 is dysfunctional right now. I checked the battery, power connection and tried to realise from the sound of the
desktop
computer
 that the problem is with the monitor. My purchase number is +48 505 175 256. I attached a copy of my receipt. I should finish
this
 study before the end of
this
 month. If my
desktop
computer
 does not work, I am unable to finalise it.
Besides
, I have important files, software and in-progress project instructions on
this
desktop
computer
 which means I am stuck without them. I need
this
 device fixed immediately so I hope you would help me resolve the problem in the
next
 few days or replace it with a new one and transfer the data. I hope to hear from you soon. Yours faithfully, Anna Karnowska
Submitted by annajasinska2 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: