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Sport stars are paid too much for what they do . disscuss

#sport #stars #disscuss
There is a controversial issue about the income of famous
athletes
. Some social workers state that their payments are excessively large.
However
, some coaches argue that they deserve that money. In
this
 essay, I will discuss both points of view and agree with the idea that they receive too earning. Let us start with reasons why some social workers believe that well-known
athletes
 are
overly paid
Correct your spelling
overpaid
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. The first reason is that their salary frequently does not correspond to their contribution. Many
sportsmen
 have huge incomes
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 because they play in trendy sports clubs,
such
 as Manchester United or Real Madrid, but in fact, unlike miners and teachers, they do little for economic growth. Another factor is that their wages
causes
Change the verb form
cause
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 outrages in society. Many employees have the average salary, which is enough to lead a modest life, but when they see how much
sportsmen
 earn, they feel resentment
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
such
 enormous injustice.
Therefore
, after analyzing,
it is clear that
athletes
' payment is extremely large.
Nevertheless
, some coaches advocate that outstanding
sportsmen
 receive fair wages. They justify their opinion with the following arguments.
Firstly
, they usually spend their life training hard. Most people enviously observe how famous
athletes
 live in affluence, but they do not realize how much they work to gain
such
 best results in world competitions.
Secondly
, they mostly earn large money on
advertisement
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advertising
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. It is common belief in society that
athletes
 make a living by participating in contests, but
actually
Add a comma
actually,
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 their income is largely formed from advertising products on TV, which is
also
 under gigantic taxation.
As a result
, after analyzing, it is obvious that popular
athletes
 earn fair salaries. In conclusion,
although
 some coaches propagate that
sportsmen
 with fame have decent earnings, I think that their salary should be reduced to an
approprate
Correct your spelling
appropriate
 level for the
above mentioned
Add a hyphen
above-mentioned
show examples
 arguments.
Submitted by yesorno06011999 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph follows a logical structure and that ideas are connected and developed coherently.
task achievement
Expand on the introduction to clearly outline the main points of the essay. Provide a more comprehensive response that addresses all aspects of the essay question.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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