Nowadays, most countries improve the standard of living through economic development. But some social values are lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of the phenomenon outweigh the disadvantages?
World economic development has rescued many
people
out of
deprivation and brought a better life, Change preposition
from
whereas
most of
Change preposition
apply
people
claim this
trend leads to the loss of traditional values
. In my opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
this
trend has more merits and demerits which are manageable to cope with.
On the one hand, many benefits are brought because of economic growth. Firstly
, it reduces impoverishment and improves the quality of life. While
economy
grows, more job opportunities are being generated. The income from jobs can help Correct article usage
the economy
the
Correct article usage
apply
society
escape poverty and people
can have a better standard of living. In addition
, people
can have access to education
when they can afford the tuition fee. Through education
, people
gain a variety of knowledge in many fields,
and learn how to use it for a better world. Remove the comma
apply
For example
, Singapore used to be one of the world's poorest islands has become one of the richest countries. Government
attracts foreign investors with no taxes, Correct article usage
The government
invests
20% of its GDP into Correct word choice
and invests
education
. Citizens of Singapore study at most
prestigious universities around the for free.
Correct article usage
the most
On the other hand
, there is no denying the fact that some traditional values
are perishing because of the
consumerism. Correct article usage
apply
For example
, after meeting basic needs, people
are eager to pursue more luxurious items without cherishing the things they have already owned. Humans think that everything can be bought with money, even friendship and love. When the
Correct article usage
apply
society
becomes like this
, it is hard for us to trust others or build a true relationship. However
, the
social Correct article usage
apply
values
can be restored by imparting moral lessons from an early age. People
can cultivate the correct moral values
and stick to those principles even though the
Correct article usage
apply
society
may be changing. For example
, China and Japan keep their traditional culture alive by celebrating Lunar
Year and Correct article usage
the Lunar
Respect
for aged day. Celebrating holidays together helps to nurture Wrong verb form
respecting
the
family connections, giving a sense of belonging and Correct article usage
apply
celebrate
generations of families. More importantly, traditions create positive memories for children.
Wrong verb form
celebrating
To conclude
, the
Correct article usage
apply
society
should develop the economy because it brings immense benefits, such
as improved quality of life and chance
to acquire Add an article
a chance
the chance
education
. As for the risk of losing social values
, it can be prevented by giving value education
from an early age.Submitted by bammesdilia24 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Introduction
The introduction could be better structured with a clearer stance on the topic.
Coherence
Ensure the ideas expressed are concise and clear without being too vague or complex.
Sentence Structures
Ensure proper usage and structuring of sentences to maintain better clarity and comprehension.