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Writing Samples /
Band 6

The chart below shows the amount of money per week spent on fast foods in Britain.

The chart below shows the amount of money per week spent on fast foods in Britain.
#amount #money #week #foods #britain
The chart below illustrates weekly expenditures on
variety
Replace the word
various
show examples
types
Change preposition
of types
show examples
 of fast foods among different
income
 groups of people in Britain,
whereas
 the graphs
given
Add the auxiliary verb
are given
show examples
an information
Remove the article
information
a piece of information
show examples
 about
dynamics
Correct article usage
the dynamics
show examples
 of
those
Change the determiner
that consumption
show examples
consumption
Replace the word
consumers
show examples
.
Overall
, the least popular food among
three
Correct article usage
the three
show examples
 given
income
 groups of individuals is pizza,
moreover
Add a comma
,moreover
show examples
 its
consumption
 rate
demonstrating
Wrong verb form
demonstrated
show examples
moderate
Correct article usage
a moderate
show examples
 downward trend over the given
period
,
whereas
 the most popular food is
hamburger
Add an article
a hamburger
show examples
 with about
ninefold
Correct article usage
a ninefold
show examples
 increase over that
twenty-years
Correct your spelling
twenty-year
show examples
period
.
An individuals
Correct the article-noun agreement
Individuals
show examples
 from high and
average
Add a hyphen
average-income
show examples
income
 groups
are tend
Change the verb form
tend
show examples
 to spend more money on hamburgers compared to other categories of foods, what is 45 and about 33 respectively, despite
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that, people’s preferences with low
income
 are mostly in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
 of Fish & Chips.
Moreover
Add a comma
,
show examples
the sum of money spent on Fish & Chips remained constant for both high and
low
Add a hyphen
low-income
show examples
income
 classes at about 17. In regard to
consumption
Correct article usage
the consumption
show examples
 of
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
show examples
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pizza
consumption
 dominated among other two categories between
Correct article usage
the 1970’s
show examples
1970’s
Fix apostrophe usage
1970s
show examples
 and
1980’s
Fix apostrophe usage
1980s
show examples
 with
further
Correct article usage
a further
show examples
 gradually dropping tendency and
Correct article usage
a slightly
show examples
slightly
Change the word
slight
show examples
rise
Wrong verb form
rising
show examples
at the end
 of
given
Add an article
a given
the given
show examples
period
.
In contrast
consumption
 of Fish & Chips increased more than 5 times over the entire
period
 ,
whereas
consumption
 of hamburgers illustrated the highest growth rate among other categories.
Submitted by prachetamunje.030 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "moreover, whereas".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words income, consumption, period with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "illustrates" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
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