Many people think that more money will make them happier. How important is money for happiness?

Earning more and more will render a feeling of pleasure to several individuals.

This

essay will outline the significance of the property

along with

other factors to bring happiness, which is a state of mind, and its definition varies from person to person. Undoubtedly,

money

is one of the methods to live cheerfully. Primarily, people can fulfil their aspirations through cash as they can purchase branded clothes and luxury cars. Even wealth could provide an opportunity to spend life in elegant houses, which is an ambition of every individual, and

thus

, it makes them ecstatic.

Additionally

, masses throw,

weekend

Fix the agreement mistake

weekends

show examples

, festivals, and birthday parties through which they gain not only cheerfulness but

also

the attention of others.

In addition

this

such

events contribute to their peace of mind.

For instance

, a man who has everything,

such

as relationships, health, and children, but

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

does not have cash in his pockets, cannot consider himself blissful.

On the other hand

, there are some other factors which provide gratified life to people. First of all, several individuals feel contentment when they spend quality time with their loved ones,

instead

spending

Change preposition

of spending

show examples

money

on luxurious things. Since they deem that family can support

Correct pronoun usage

them in

show examples

terrible circumstances, where

money

can not.

Besides

this

, other than

money

, success is

also

considered

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the primary component of happiness. To illustrate,

although

Finland is not one of the wealthiest countries, it is the happiest nation because they find themselves blissful in spending time with their loved ones and

focus

Wrong verb form

focusing

show examples

on success rather than

money

To conclude

, the most

money

the

Correct word choice

and the

show examples

most happiness is an accurate fact, but to some extent,

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

people can enjoy satisfying lives,

while

other ingredients,

such

as families and success, play a vital role in one's bliss out.

Wed Apr 29 2020

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task response

Ensure all the points made directly relate to the prompt and provide a clear stance on the importance of money for happiness.

coherence and cohesion

Maintain a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Use transitions to connect ideas smoothly throughout the essay.

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14Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

294 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many people think that more money will make them happier. How important is money for happiness?

Whether or not someone achieves their aims is mostly by a question of luck. To what extent do you agree or not agree?

Some people get into debt by buying things they don't need and can't afford. What are the reasons for this behavior? What action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem?

Some People Think That Success Is The Best Measure Of Intelligence Whilst Others Think That Intelligence Can Be Measured In Other Ways. What Is Your Opinion?

some people belive that professionals such as doctors and engineers , should be required to work in the country where they did their training . others belive they should be free to work in another country if they wish. discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than history. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.