IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

The table below shows the numbers of visitors to the Ashdown museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished. The charts show the result of surveys asking visitors how satisfied they were with their visit, during the same two periods. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below shows the numbers of visitors to the Ashdown museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished. The charts show the result of surveys asking visitors how satisfied they were with their visit, during the same two periods. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#numbers #visitors #ashdown #museum #year #show #surveys #visit #two #periods #summaries #information #features #comparisons
The tabular chart and
pie-chart
Correct your spelling
pie chart
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 illustrate the number of
visitors
 to the Ashdown
Museum
 and the results of visitor satisfaction before and after refurbishment. During the year before
renovation
Add an article
the renovation
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, the total number of
visitors
 to the
museum
 was 74,000 where the majority percentage of the
people
 were dissatisfied and
one
 in 10 was very dissatisfied. In the meantime, less than a
third
 of
visitors
satisfied
Add a missing verb
were satisfied
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,
where
Correct word choice
whereas
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 less than a fifth of
people
 were highly satisfied.
However
,
one
 in twenty
of
Change preposition
apply
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visitors
 had no review of
this
museum
, which was the lowest of all categories. During the year after replenishment, the total sum of
visitors
 had increased by about 18 thousand where the most figure of
people
satisfied
Add a missing verb
were satisfied
show examples
 and more than a
third
 of
people
 were more satisfied. After reopening, the rate of dissatisfaction and very dissatisfaction
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
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decreased drastically when a few numbers of
people
 about
one
 in twenty were dissatisfied.
However
,
one
 in twenty
people
 had no comment about the
museum
 even
if
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
after a restoration that remained constant before
furnished
Add a missing verb
being furnished
show examples
.
Submitted by sazzad1196 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, third".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words visitors, museum, people, one with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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