IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The chart below shows the changes in car ownership in Great Britain between 2000 and 2010

The chart below shows the changes in car ownership in Great Britain between 2000 and 2010
#changes #car #ownership #britain
The line chart provided shows some striking differences in the number of
cars
 used in the UK between 2000 and 2010.
It is clear that
 the number of people
used
Correct pronoun usage
who used
show examples
 single or more
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
 two
cars
 increased during the period
while
 those who have no
car
 decreased considerably. In 2000 there were approximately 65% of people
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
did not have
car
Add an article
a car
the car
show examples
 to travel, about
one
Add a hyphen
one-third
show examples
third
 had
one
car
 and no
one
 had two or more
cars
.
However
,
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 ten years
shows
Correct subject-verb agreement
show
show examples
 significant changes in
car
 ownership. The percentage of people
had
Correct pronoun usage
who had
show examples
 no
car
 dropped dramatically
about
Change preposition
by about
show examples
 35% in 2001, a decline
about
Change preposition
of about
show examples
 29%.
In contrast
, more
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
 two
cars
 increased steeply to somewhere in the vicinity of 15% and
then
 doubled in 2008.
Finally
, the percentage of
one
Add a hyphen
one-car
show examples
car
 users experienced some remarkable fluctuation. The trend went up sharply and reached a peak of 50% in 1981 before decreasing slowly during the
next
 ten years. Contributes to
one
car
 overtook those with no auto and became the highest for all
car
 owners.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "next".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words cars, car, one with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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