Film stars and music celebrities may earn a great deal of money and live in luxurious surroundings, but many of them lead unhappy lives. Do you agree? To what extent is this the price they pay for being famous?

#film #stars #music #celebrities #money #surroundings #lives #price

Celebrated personalities tend to

amaas

collect or gather

amass

amaze

amuse

disposable

Suggestion

Disposable

income in bulk.

Such

wealth allows them to be, as "happy as Larry".

Howbeit

, it is presumed that their material wealth oftentimes causes them to

bide

stick to firmly

bind

build

melancholy life. I tend to concur with

this

statement. I will be pleased to discuss with you, why these types of people tend to pay a heavy price for public adulation in the following paragraphs. Being popular means, to be widely known and be in

highlights

Suggestion

the highlights

for your every action. Which means the privacy in their lives is non existent.

For instance

, if Kim Kardashian wears a bikini and steps out on the beaches of

miami

a member of the extinct Algonquian people formerly living in northern Indiana and southern Michigan

Miami

to catch some sun, the whole world is going to know about it. Or If

salman

Suggestion

Salman

khan

a title given to rulers or other important people in Asian countries

Khan

heads out for cycling, pictures of him are going to be splashed in

the the

definite article

the

tabloids.

Likewise

, being a star one has to be extremely patient with the public judgements as they are constantly judged.

Moreover

, a celebrity status attracts too many fake friends. Who just for the sake of seeking attention and enjoying the bounties of elite class tries to

befriends

Suggestion

be friends

with them resulting stars to be all alone. They have no sincere shoulder to rest their head on. Being famous seems to have its perks as well: oodles of diehard fans, to get whatever one wishes to have getting special treatments and stuff like that. Anyhow, handling all of

this

: being in

news

Suggestion

the news

for everything, unable to enjoy leisure time, being asked for a selfie whenever in public, some celebrities manages to dwell a gleeful life. To illustrate

this

, Kylie Jenner and The Beckhams Family are the best examples. Eventually, according to my notion no matter how healthy and fresh celebrities may look on

camera but

Accept comma addition

camera, but

behind the curtains they all are normal beings who wants their personal space to be respected as well.

For

example if

Accept comma addition

example, if

any celebrity gives birth to a newborn they prefer to keep their newborn's identity hidden for some

reasons despite

Accept comma addition

reasons, despite

that media still

stucks

an implement consisting of a length of wood

sticks

stuck

sucks

like a dog's tail just for the sake of flourishing their business and spills the beans.

Submitted by huzamia on Mon May 18 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

353 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Film stars and music celebrities may earn a great deal of money and live in luxurious surroundings, but many of them lead unhappy lives. Do you agree? To what extent is this the price they pay for being famous?

Fully explain your ideas

The uses of violence in music lyric, video games and films seen by children is causing concern in many societies. What problems may be caused by this type of violent imagery, and what steps could be taken to lessen the impact on young people?

People living in large cites today face many problems in their everyday life. What are these problems? Should governments encourage people to move to smaller regional towns?

Do you prefer living in an urban or rural area? State your preference and give reasons to why you feel that way?

Most Countries allow 18 year olds to start driving a car. Some say it is good to allow it at this age, while others think that the age to start driving should be at least 25. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The restoration of old buildings in major cities throughout the world often involves numerous government expenditures. This money will bring more benefits if it is used to provide new housing or road development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?