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Writing Samples /
Band 5

Many people believe that cigarette smoking has had a negative impact for far too long and the only solution to end ot, is to make cigarettes illegall worldwide. To what extent to you agree or disagree? Give explanations and examples to support your opinion.

#people #cigarette #impact #ot #cigarettes #illegall #explanations #support
The
Correct article usage
Cigarette
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cigarette
 is a common bad nature for many
people
 in our society.
This
ever - increasing
Correct your spelling
ever-increasing
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 bad habit can cause detrimental effects
to
Change preposition
on
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 the respiratory, not only
smokers
Change preposition
on smokers
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,
Remove the comma
apply
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 but
also
for
Change preposition
on
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 surrounding
people
 as they inhale the smoke coming out of cigarettes. The cancer rate has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
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increased
due to
 the
cigarette
 and governments in many countries ought to ban smoking. I partially agree with
this
 notion because it is a feasible solution to combat all the negative impacts caused by
this
 bad habit,
however
Add a comma
however,
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this
 technique can
destruct
Verb problem
destroy
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 the economy. It is considered, that the best process to end
this
 nature is to make it illegal. Implementing
this
 law,
people
 would fear to sell or buy cigarettes because of the imposition of a fine or even
the
Correct article usage
apply
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jail.
For example
, in many countries which are ceasing to ban smoking, offenders who trade or smoke a
cigarette
 will either pay a fine of 600 dollars or go to prison for one month.
However
,
this
 process may have negative impacts
for
Change preposition
on
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 the economy. A sudden
on
Change preposition
apply
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ban
of
Change preposition
on
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 smoking would lead to
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
increase
Replace the word
increased
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 rate of poverty and unemployment. Many
cigarette
 companies would go bankrupt and millions of
people
 worldwide would lose their jobs.
Moreover
,
this
 style may increase the criminality rate, the illegal actions and
people
 would financially suffer.
For instance
, individuals
who their
Correct pronoun usage
whose
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 income is
depending
Replace the word
dependent
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from
Change preposition
on
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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smoking, trade may decide to become illegal dealers in order to sustain
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 standard of living.
This
 action definitely jeopardizes their freedom.
Therefore
, banning cigarettes may not be the best solution.
To conclude
, making the crop illegal
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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would definitely help with premature death and
decreasing
Wrong verb form
decrease
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 the cancer risk.
Nevertheless
,
this
 might not be the best
resolve
Replace the word
resolution
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 as
this
 recipe, would
cause
Verb problem
have
show examples
 negative impacts
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society. As
such
, it is worth considering other options before implementing
such
 drastic measures.
Submitted by marios7.pr on

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task response
Provide more specific examples to support your points. Make sure to address all parts of the prompt clearly.
coherence cohesion
Maintain a clear and logical progression of ideas throughout the essay. Consider using transitions to improve the flow of your argument.
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