Many people think that happiness relies upon the individuals, while others think it is affected by other factors. Discuss both views and state your opinion.

#people #happiness #individuals #factors

Although

, a lot of people believe that being happy rests upon an individual, others argue that it is impacted by other factors. In my opinion, even though it may be possible for a person to keep oneself happy and satisfied, but there are many other factors which affect happiness. On the one hand, pleasure rests on the individual itself, according to some. A person being self-satisfied, having a good inner self-confidence, self-esteem, dignity and honesty, will enjoy

life

better and seek pleasure in every day aspect of

life

. Mental

peace

and positive attitude, will ultimately make oneself look happy and prosperous.

Also

, an individual maintaining a healthy body will resultantly have a healthy mind. A strong intellect helps people to overcome all their fears and achieve joyfulness.

On the other hand

, some believe that optimism relies on other factors, and I agree.

Firstly

, every person faces hardships and lows in one's

life

. It is extremely important to have a supporting family and good friends to get through tough times. Every individual expects love from others, especially closed ones, with whom their insecurities, problems and secrets can be shared. A guy having an understanding and loving individual in

life

is a key to

peace

of mind.

Secondly

, having a good financial stability is

also

extremely necessary. Money plays a huge role in satisfying human needs and is a must. So having good economic balance, brings joy and prosperity.

Lastly

, a peaceful society and a clean surroundings

also affects

Suggestion

also affect

prosperity. People living in harmony and

peace

, together in a clean and green environment are bound to become happy. To conclude, an individual

peace

of mind not only depends on oneself, but many other factors including family, friends, money and society.

Submitted by karj1898 on Mon May 25 2020

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

288 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Fully explain your ideas

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