the bar chart below shows the top ten countries for the production and consumption of electricity

#bar #ten #countries #production #consumption #electricity

Camb 13, Test 3, Task 1 The bar chart illustrates the amounts of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

electricity

producted

Correct your spelling

produced

and consumed by

top

Correct article usage

the top

show examples

ten countries in 2014.

Overall

, what stands out from the graph

that

Add a missing verb

is that

show examples

the most

electricity

production

was experienced by

China

in 2014,

whereas

the least

that

Correct determiner usage

apply

show examples

was registered by

Korea

Rep.

Moreover

electricity

consumption

reach

Change the verb form

reaches

show examples

Remove the article

apply

show examples

its peak in

China

;

however

, it hit its lowest point in

Korea

in all countries. As can be seen from the graph,

electricity

production

came top ranking with just under 5,400 billion (kW) in

China

, followed by

United

Correct article usage

the United

show examples

States which has a

production

of just over 4,000 billion (kW). Russia ranked

third

with 1,057 billion (kW).

Further

Korea

Rep. had the least

production

On the other hand

electricity

China

showed

the

Correct your spelling

that

show examples

China

was

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

registered

highest

Correct article usage

the highest

show examples

consumption

Change preposition

apply

show examples

above 5,320,

while

Korea

Rep.. was seen the least consumption, which

account

Change the verb form

accounts

show examples

for approximately 449.

Submitted by MERVE DEMİR on Mon Jun 01 2020

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.

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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.

Basic structure: Change the first paragraph.

▼

Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words electricity, production, china, korea with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the first paragraph.

▼

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

148 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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