IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the places visited by different people living in Canada. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the places visited by different people living in Canada. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#places #people #canada #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The chart provides information about the percentage of three various
people
 living in
Canada
 visiting four different places
Overall
,
people
 born in
Canada
 and new
migrants
 born in English-speaking
countries
 prefer mostly going to cinemas more than other places,
theatre
Fix the agreement mistake
theatres
show examples
,
zoo
Fix the agreement mistake
zoos
show examples
 and
library
Fix the agreement mistake
libraries
show examples
.
However
, libraries in
Canada
 are visited frequently by
people
 new
migrants
 born in other
countries
. Almost 55
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
migrants
 living in
Canada
, born in other
countries
spends
Change the verb form
spend
show examples
 most of their
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
visiting libraries. Going to
cinema
Add an article
the cinema
show examples
 is the
second
 highest of popular activity for them, with 50
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. the zoos are chosen to visit by around 35
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
this
 group, and only
people
 in
this
 category
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
10
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 prefer to visit
theatre
Add an article
the theatre
show examples
. Cinemas are preferred by 70
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of Natives in
Canada
,
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
higher than New
migrants
’ born in English-speaking
countries
 by approximately 6
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
, but the percentage of
this
 group of
people
 visiting the theatre is
one fifth
Add a hyphen
one-fifth
show examples
. On top of
this
, the rates of those
people
 going to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
zoos and libraries are close
each
Change preposition
to each
show examples
 other with almost 42
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 and 38
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
, respectively.
On the other hand
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half of
migrants
 born in English-speaking prefer to visit
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
zoos.
As
Correct word choice
Like
show examples
other
Change preposition
with other
show examples
 groups of
people
, the lowest percentage of
among
Change preposition
apply
show examples
new
migrants
 born in English-speaking spending
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
time with just around 25
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
is
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
 the place theatres, and 40
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of them
passes
Correct subject-verb agreement
pass
show examples
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 time in
library
Add an article
the library
show examples
.
Submitted by görkem eren özdemir on

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, canada, migrants, countries, percent with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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