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Band 4

as well as making money, businesses also have social responsibilities. Do you agree or disagree?

#money #businesses #responsibilities
There
are
Suggestion
is
 a lot of dispute about
businesses role
Suggestion
the businesses' role
businesses' role
business role
business's role
 in developing society. In my view, I think that I agree that businessmen should
also
 take responsibilities
for
Suggestion
in
 society. Economic growth activities are very important for a country. If companies make a lot of
money
, they pay more taxes for government revenue. The authorities can use these taxes to spend on building facilities including schools, hospitals, road,…
Therefore
, people get advantages from
businesses
Suggestion
business
 taxes and have wealthier life. When businesses make
money
 can expand so it can provide more jobs for nearby residents and contribute to decrease
unemploymen rate
Suggestion
the unemployment rate
unemployment rate
 in
country
Suggestion
the country
. Not only businesses make
money but
Accept comma addition
money, but
also
 play
a
Suggestion
an
 important role in social responsibilities. Businesses must not harm the environment when developing business activities. There are a lot of macro problems which are relevant to businesses including
gobal
involving the entire earth; not limited or provincial in scope
global
 warming from factory emissions, responsible disposal of waste,... In the Paris agreement
about
Suggestion
on
 climate change,
goverments
the organization that is the governing authority of a political unit
governments
on
Suggestion
of
 the world agree that
coutries
a politically organized body of people under a single government
countries
 should reduce the amount of factory emissions in production activities. The most important element to make
this
 agreement successful is
businesses role
Suggestion
a businesses' role
businesses' role
business role
. Corporations are
also
 responsible for
disposal
Suggestion
disposing
 of waste. Businesses should improve the awareness of environmental protection. Firms have to recycle and use waste treatment methods to protect the environment.
Furthermore
, businesses which make profits should put
money
 back into the community through charity and financial scholarships. There are many charity activities which were conducted by businesses
such
 as Microsoft and Vinamilk. These
charity
Suggestion
charities
 contributed to develop society and help many people overcome obstacles.
Submitted by Tan on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Social responsibilities
  • Corporate social responsibility
  • Ethical behavior
  • Societal impact
  • Stakeholders
  • Profit-driven
  • Public perception
  • Environmental sustainability
  • Community development
  • Human rights
  • Workplace safety
  • Altruism
  • Balanced approach
  • Accountability
  • Consumer loyalty
What to do next:
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