IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result. Why do many working people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem?

#people #exercise #time #health
It is true that the majority of people who are working in all the fields are not enthusiastic to exercise in weekdays or even at weekends and
this
 matter can cause health troubles for them. There are various reasons for
this
 issue, but measures could be taken to tackle the problems Actually, most of the working people are so busy that and they can make hardly any free moment, but if they have ever free time, they would probably do many different things to fill their spare time,
such
 as watching TV, listening to music and so on and these are the things they would definitely be fascinated by.
Furthermore
, these people think that after a busy week they feel, they deserve some rest and relaxation even in their free time. In fact, people who have jobs are not interested in to train or going to the gym due to the fatigue, workload, family reunions and so on. What is more, some of them do not have enough money to train in a gym or in their homes and it is really complicated for them to be an active person and they would like to continue their lives without any actions and
this
 matter has a negative impact on their bodies and brains,
besides
 it leads them to irreparable blemish in the future For
this
 problem, authorities can make a great scheme in order to mitigate the volume of their worker assignments and
also
 construct a harmonious atmosphere for labours in their workplaces for relaxation and training.
Moreover
, governments can donate free membership of gyms to people so as to deal
this
 problem or consider a good discount.
In addition
, people beside authorities should have tried to make exercise as a part of their daily routine due to the fact that at
first
, all people in the world are reliable about themselves   In conclusion, governments and people who have jobs can solve
this
 problem through a flexible working schedule and
also
 producing vital motivation for exercising.
Submitted by zardook gallery on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Time constraints
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Passive leisure activities
  • Workplace wellness programs
  • Active commuting
  • Subsidized
  • Public awareness
  • Health benefits
  • Incentivizing
  • Accessible public spaces
What to do next:
Look at other essays: