Some people believe that the whole family bringing up children is better than only parents. What is your opinion?

#people #children #parents

It is believed by the segment of the masses that children who are brought up in joint families are better than the one in the nuclear families. In the joint family culture, children get the warmth and affection of their grandparents and along with that, there is always someone to give attention to them.

However

, in an elementary family setup, the children are deprived of the grandparent’s love

also

, they feel lonely at times and the habit of sharing is

also

not inculcated in them.

Hence

, I agree with the given stance that children should be brought up in the combined family.

To begin

with, nowadays, to provide children with a good

life

, both the parents are working so, children who are born in a family

that is

full of different relations are lucky, as they have ample people to look after them.

For instance

, even if the parents are out for official work, that will not bother the children because they are always surrounded by different people.

Furthermore

, the close-knit family will love them as their own. So, children brought up in a family full of different relations will turn out to be loving, caring and content throughout their

life

Conversely

, if a child is born in a family that consists of only parents, will eventually feel deprived and depressed when he will see other children enjoying with their grandparents.

Hence

, he will feel lonely when the parents are at work.

For example

, during the novel corona virus pandemic, everyone is confined to their homes, parents are working from home and juveniles usually surf the internet or watch cartoons, after some time they get bored and irritated and feel lonely. In my opinion, children should be brought up in a family full of different relations, as children will learn how to adjust in every situation and bear the mood swings of other people. That will be beneficial for them later in their

life

Also

, the habit of sharing will be developed in them. To conclude, children will lead a satisfied

life

, if they are raised in the hands of aunts, uncles and grandparents. They will be full of

life

and turn out to be happy human beings.

On the other hand

, if they are brought up by the parents only, they will feel lonely later on in

life

Submitted by Ayesha Wajhi on Mon Jun 15 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

389 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

obey
authority
guidance
experience
knowledge
beneficial
harmful
mistakes
independent
critical thinking
creativity
problem-solving
responsibility
self-reliance
opinion

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