IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The two pie charts below show the percentages of industry sectors' contribution to the economy of Turkey in 2000 and 2016. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The two pie charts below show the percentages of industry sectors' contribution to the economy of Turkey in 2000 and 2016. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#two #show #percentages #industry #sectors #contribution #economy #turkey #information #features #comparisons
These two pie charts represent how different industry sectors contributed to the economy of Turkey
percentage wise
Add a hyphen
percentage-wise
show examples
 in 2000 and 2016. The
overall
 economic contributions increased and decrease in some industries. Some industry sectors did reduce, like the government, which decreased by 3%,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
agriculture by 10%, and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Leisure and Hospitality by 3%. In 2000,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
agricultural production was the most successful sector, which contributed by 24% in the recession that year.
While
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the least commerce
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
impact was
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
construction which accounted for 3%.
The
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Leisure and hospitality had an equal chunk of 17% of the contributions just as the healthcare and education
sector
Fix the agreement mistake
sectors
show examples
. The government gave out 12%, the Trade, Utilities and transportation gave out 14%, the finance, Business and other provided 5%, and manufacturing provided 8%.
For
Change preposition
In
show examples
 2016 things didn't change much
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the Turkish recession.
Actually
Add a comma
,Actually
show examples
 a couple of industries experienced a cutback in their contributions.
For example
,
agriculture
Change preposition
in agriculture
show examples
,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
decreased harshly by 10%, from 24% to 14% the government sector to see a decline of about 3%. The Healthcare and Education system stayed as it is with a contribution of 17%. Finance, business and other
increase
Replace the word
increased
show examples
 from 5% in 2006 to 8% in 2016. Construction had a 7% increase to reach 10%.
Submitted by [email protected] khalifa on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "gave" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "provided" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: