IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Individuals can do nothing to improve the environment; only governments and large companies can make a difference. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#individuals #environment #governments #companies #difference
Governments
along with
support
Add an article
the support
show examples
 of
large scale
Add a hyphen
large-scale
show examples
 enterprises, are supposed to make strict rules and regulations for the betterment of the environment.
However
, the purpose of Governments can't be achieved without the active contribution of
individuals
.
Therefore
 , in my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
individuals
 have to play a vital role
to make
Change preposition
in making
show examples
 the environment better.I will explain my opinion in
following
Correct article usage
the following
show examples
 paragraphs. There is no doubt that the Governing bodies have to make
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
policies and guidelines for
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
 in order to make our environment clean and pleasant. The authorities must keep monitoring the implementation of
such
 policies and,
also
 make sure that people are following the Governmental guidelines.The violators of environmental laws must be strictly punished and penalized.
On the other hand
 , it is an individual's primary social responsibility to keep his surroundings neat and clean.If all
individuals
 take responsibility
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
cleanliness
Correct article usage
the cleanliness
show examples
 of their areas,it will lead to a healthy atmosphere which will ultimately lead to a more healthy and productive nation.
However
, cleaning one's own home doesn't mean
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
messing up someone else territory.
For
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
this
 is not
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
acceptable act that you clean your home and put your dirt in front of someone else door or
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 any open place.In order to avoid
such
 acts, the Government or its affiliated companies must place the containers where the citizens can put their waste stuff.
Then
 these containers must be timely evacuated in order to avoid contamination in the air. Summarizing all, I would say that policies or procedures implemented by the Governments for environmental improvement can not give
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fruitful results unless the
individuals
 play their role by owning their responsibilities towards the Governmental guidelines.
Submitted by Abdul Satti on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • environmental awareness
  • sustainable practices
  • renewable energy
  • carbon footprint
  • waste reduction
  • conservation
  • ecosystem
  • pollution
  • climate change
  • responsibility
  • leadership
  • legislation
  • investment
  • collaboration
  • systemic change
What to do next:
Look at other essays: